Thursday, 29 October 2015

BRR Kingdom Recap S1:E4 Flowers




When last we saw our Kingdomites, tragic hookah Christina was being hustled out the door by Terry as her son Jay plotted and steamed. We open with Jay shopping at a hardware store for some seriously worrisome looking shite which turns out to be just home security improvements. To lock his Mom in. No way this can go wrong!
Nate is looking better, and actually gets some lines this episode, NickJo drops the effbomb even! I know people like to hate on PimpMommaKris Kardashian, but I find myself wondering about the Jonai Breeders. Those kids are locked up TOIGHT.

Lisa pulls up to see some beribboned weight equipment being dropped off; a giftie from the Power Couple for Ryan, I'm guessing.

Alvey goes to see a Russian Mafia Stereotype to get Ryan on the next big fight; he's gotta be ready in 5 weeks and several semi-serious offers of oral sex are bandied about in lighthearted homoerotic flirting. 5 weeks is toight, and I'm kind of wondering if Ryan is actually ready, I mean, I didn't realise he was quite as different as they are explaining. Drugs and anger = hmmm.

Speaking of Ryan, MOAR public peeing, yay! This is like a male Girls up in here, so...Boys? The previously assaulted detective shows up at Nate's house and he ducks him like a bill collector. Said detective is undeterred and shows up to interrupt Lisa and Alvey's pissing match over her managing his son Jay as a fighter. It's THEIR gym until she wants to train and manage Jay, and then he's not allowing her to affiliate him with the gym OR train while Ryan is there. Equality! Speaking of equality; Alvey is concern personified when talking about Nate with the detective and when asked about Jay ''da fcuk he do?'' Do you think he has a favourite son??

Pornstache TeddyBearKeychain has a name! It's Keith! And Keith is laying on Ryan's bed and answering his phone calls because THAT'S what roomies always do. Except whatever the opposite of always is.

Ryan shows up while Lisa is in the gym alone...dun dun DUN!!! Speaking of suspense, we see Christina and Jay eating at another diner; I'd call it a greasy spoon, but that would insult spoons everywhere. Jay's plan to kidnap his momma and hold her captive seems to have hit a snag as she junkieplans to move away. I mean that in the best way. People under stress, and young people under stress especially, tend to think the location is the problem, and that moving will change things. Addicts in particular tend to believe in Relocation Therapy. It.does.not.work. Just as an FYI

Bucky diMarco, who was engaged to Jennifer Love Hewitt at one point, shows up in his Fun Bus to see Lisa about a fight for Jay, to get on the card he will have to fight as a welterweight, in 3 DAYS. No way this will be messed up by Jay's plan to kidnap his mom! Which he actually does manage to pull off, including an incredibly uncomfortable making shot of her thonged 45 year old bum. Oedipus LARFS.

Ryan gets those purty gym muscles to work; I'm sure he will be right up to speed in no time at all. Nate gets his muscles stretched by Tatiana of the hookah-name while Alvey paces like a stinky lion outside.

The Power Couple is trying to use the gifted equipment as leverage while Ryan and Lisa share several tense moments with his sweaty, sweaty body between them. They will so be banging shortly. I mean, you can smell it through the TV, it's all Axe and Love's Baby Soft up in here.

The detective is grilling Nate, and it looks like someone found a clue! They know who beat him up, the two stereotypes have been bragging, but Nate won't own up and it makes no sense.

Ryan goes drinking and makes some meaningful eye contact with some random barfly; isn't he supposed to be sober? He has great game, though, and random barfly eats it up. Good listener, lots of piercing eye contact and drops a quiet money game. And then he bangs her like a screen door in a hurricane in the men's can. Ah young love.

Jay beats up Terry The Pimp; I'm wondering if he's left alive. If he is, I am guessing Jay will not be for much longer.

Alvey watches the security footage of Ryan's workout and is concerned by his and Lisa's sweaty tete a tete. He makes a point of letting Ryan know that he reviews footage and drops the 5 Weeks to Beast Card Fight which gives Ryan pause. As it should.

Lisa and Allison of the Power Couple drink martinis and honestly. They're trying to make Lisa seem tough by making her swear at weird moments and all I hear is blah blah posturing blah tomboy whatever blah. Step it up, writers.

Tatiana texts Nate about meeting up, as all physiotherapists do with their patients, right? Instead he sits in a Come to Jeebus dinner with his dad, who grills him about the attack and we learn that the gangbanger stereotypes DID explain that they were assaulting Nate to get back at his daddeh, but still nobody understands why.

Jay cleans up his momma as a drunk Lisa hammers on his door with the offer of a very bad sounding fight. When it's compared less favourably to ass pounding..

Nate goes off to see Physio Tatiana while Jay listens to anti-speed-metal on his headphones and we owt. I don't know. NickJo isn't impressing me, and I would prefer MUCH less Jay and a smidge more Alvey, but it's not bad. It's developing. Anyone else watching?

18 comments:

  1. You have been a busy lady, watching this with hubs?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, marathoning like mofos. Happy Halloween, lady!

      Delete
  2. Unfortunately Halloween is a total non event here, thinking I might have a nap, getting up at 3am to watch rugby World Cup gf!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And wait for the very important day after...

      What's your avi??

      Delete
    2. Drake blinging about the place. Maybe I'll just hit the booze and stay up

      Delete
    3. At least Hubs will be around to do drink filling and hangover help! Woot!

      Delete
    4. There's no way I'd be able to stay up. I'll have a couple and zonk out by 10pm

      Delete
    5. Sounds like every special day ever these days

      Delete
  3. We've talked about that Drake bling before; do you think his voice has changed? I love the song but am so distracted by the flatness

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a weird song, it's grown on me. It's number 2 on the charts here!

      I kinda love how understated he's kept it

      Delete
    2. It's grown on me too, at first I thought bleerhhh but the voice? I listen to a lot of DrakeVoice, because I have an album plus a bunch on my shuffle, and because it's on headphones, I KNOW his voice like super creepily specifically. It throws me each time I hear it, but I like

      Delete
    3. I've never listened much, might have to go it a go. We ARE dance spirit animals after all

      Delete
    4. I think he's an artist like Kanye, but without everything else

      Delete
    5. Which album do you have? Recommendations plz!

      Delete
    6. Take Care is fantastic, and I have some singles from all his other stuff

      Delete
    7. Excellent! Drake dance party!

      Delete