Wednesday, 4 November 2015

BRR Below Deck Recap S3:E10 What Took You So Long?

And now the fabled showdown and return of Ben, the destroyer of fine stuffed seahorse pillows everywhere. You remember Ben, right?

We roll at everyone still freaking out about the fire, and now comes the investigation. Captain does a White Glove Inspection and those are AWESOME!

Leon gets up and starts cleaning his kitchen, which would also my first move. It is odd that Leon stores trays in the oven,  but odder yet that you wouldn't remove them when you are putting food in them.

The guests get to do their shark dive after all, yay! Connie gets to do the anchor pull-up and she rocks it out. Eddie tries to take the credit but Skinny Kenny Rogers knows what's up and lurves her initiative.

The guests have breakfast in bed and then later champagne with everyone else. Happy birthday Alan Sr! Enjoy that shark dive!

Captain Lee interviews Kate and Rocky separately about the fire; RockyRaquel does an epically failing attempted undermining of Kate and yeah. It's Leon's fault because the ovens were dirty and he knows it because he spends all morning scrubbing them out. Leon is called up and is defensive right off the hop, which does not impress old Nod And Smile Lee. Leon also suggests that Kate was drinking last night, on charter, but seeing as he wasn't there and didn't actually see anything...Captain Lee is DUN. He chooses the debbil he knows and Leon is fired. He's asked to stay and finish the rest of the charter and he bails. Angrily.

Leon grabs his things and runs into Principal Agitator Rocky, who immediately makes it all about her. He leaves, she leaves. Sigh. Toddler.

Captain Lee tells Kate and she quietly gloats. Leon leaves and says he has a family back in Australia and THAT'S why his accent was so difficult to pick out! It's all influenced!

Eddie and Amy enable some more dramuh for RockyRaquel,  who dives off the boat, mostly because Eddie isn't backing her up. She acts it out in interviews and tries to talk her way onto a nearby yacht. Let's see how well they conceal all this garbage.

The drunk ladies make it back to the yacht in time to leave for lunch. The Captain sends the guests to a nearby island and they don't even know there is no chef! Rocky gets brought back by the other boat to pack her shite. Captain calls Ben!! I assume, anyway. And who else?? Who's the deckhand? I have to say; Skinny Kenny Rogers did this to himself, he should have waited until the end of the charter. Chefs are temperamental AF. Also, they get fired all the time,  so no worries.

Rocky is stupid enough to go plead her case with the captain, but apparently she's not fired? Huh. Yet. Mebbe the captain read my note above and figures she's better dealt with later.

Rocky isn't giving up, though! She's gonna make Leon being fired ALLS about her, she just has to sit back and "take it" and at this point I have to interject. How is ANY of that about you,  RockyRaquel? Leon's gone! And ecstatic to be so! And that relates to you how so? Man. I wouldn't be a young person again for ANYTHING. She's leaning pretty hard on Emile right now, grateful for his friendship, but I think he's thinking he's finally making headway on the RockyRaquel bagina-puzzle. Maybe not!

The stews prep for the White Party and Kate orders a lava cake, I wonder if they're gonna tell the guests that the chef was fired? They LOVE his food. Hmm

Douchey McDouchmeister is chopping off the tops of bottles while Rocky calls herself a chef after 6 months of cooking school and hey!  Why not.

The primary guest wears a blue shirt to his White Party, but hey, it's HIS white party and maybe that doesn't refer to clothing, YOU RACISTS!! Just joshing, but yeah, he's wearing blue. It looks lovely.  Less lovely is Rocky's salad with oreo crumbs. She's trying to recreate a salad with cocoa nibs, which are very trendy right now, and not at all oreos. Rocky is following Leon's oh-so-successful path of not speaking to Kate and doing her job, except that the chef talking to the head stew IS THEIR JOB.

Ohhh noooo even worse than that; and her finger licking, I totally saw that AGAIN, you disgusting person, is that Rocky is serving oysters. Raw seafood in lickyfingers hands there. She pours grenadine on the oysters and the primary guest literally blows chunks. Nobody wants to throw up on their birthday! Unless it's like, really late. Eddie practically throws Rocky out of the way and takes over the cooking and she pouts.

These poor guests. They have no idea how close they are to botulism. I was wondering how they were going to futz the chef being fired. Kate says he's sick. Also sick? The cake, who looks like it's melting.  And fell over. Man. They cannot catch a break! I can't talk about how they repair it because I'm trying to scrub all that contamination from my brain.

Big fat envelope!! But we don't get to see until the next day. Pout. Lots of needling from Kate and she is right about RockyRaquel, she IS like a ticking time bomb. That she has to compliment. Sometimes?  You have to find a way to work with people you really do not get along with. That is life. That's also part of why they call it work, and not fun, which are the times when you get to choose who you want to spend time with. It usually pays much less.

RockyRaquel is ALSO right about Kate when she calls her a "jabber", Kate does like to get those light side punches in that you don't even really feel at first, and then after a couple of rounds, you find yourself protecting that side a little more in advance, leaving everything else open to her barbed words. She's a MASTER of the side jab! But she is owed some respect and RockyRaquel gave her nada.

Nobody knows what to do with Rocky. Eddie completely throws her under the bus, I guess that's better than the washing machine. I can't believe Captain Lee hasn't fired Rocky yet.

And Ben arrives! The accent is BACK. Just so you know, Ben used to send meals out HOURS late and not talk and make obscene messes in the guest rooms, soooo. He flirts with Connie and Kate is happy, and Amy is happy and lessee what Rocky thinks.  Eddie gets to watch Ben and Rocky flirt and yay!


Kate and Ben flirt and it's so cute that they pretend they never fought all the time. RockyRaquel brings up the new chef and gets furious when Leon naturally comes up. I mean. She started it!

Ben calls Kate a hunter and I would go with Predator. Like this, but more drinky.

And FINALLY! We owt


  1. Replies
    1. Yaaasss

      And it's every bit as ridic looking as it sounds

    2. Finger.Licking.Oysters.

    3. She licks her fingers while preparing food for strangers!! It is SO DISGUSTING

    4. I watch Masterchef and the lack of hair nets and gloves makes me dry reach sometimes. They touch their hair CONSTANTLY *herk*

    5. Or noses! People are forever rubbing their noses in kitchens and we all know they're actually wiping off drops. Honestly. It makes me feel all OCD and I'm really not. Much

    6. Run your hand through your sweaty hair and then plate your food, yummy! Extra seasoning!

    7. There are those extra dots Kate was looking for!

    8. I think I just grossed myself out

    9. I like to lick the spots off the silverware, if the dishwasher left streaks

    10. I let my dog lick the plates clean and put them away. Spotless!

  2. Replies
    1. It didn't in IE. Gonna switch back to Firefox

  3. Another recap up! Up to speed finally!