Wednesday, 4 November 2015

BRR Below Deck Recap S3:E11 The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Crossover episode, woo hoo! Also the end of the backlog, yay! Let's roll!

 Have to say it again; no idea how Rocky is still there.  Meanwhile,  Ben cleans out the fridge and flirts with Connie, whose game is so much better when it's lowkey. Easy going, not

but I'd take either! New deck hand is Dave, who is actually just new to me. He was on the show for season 1 and calls himself a gay man very close to Eddie right off the hop and yay! Glad that's settled. He's so pretty, but doesn't look anything like he did before. He's engaged and is looking for some moola for the wedding.

Emile pouts and really; it's that splitting the tip that extra way. And hey!! I already forgot what the tip was last time! It was $1900 something each, soooo, carry the 7...dunno. Moving on!

Dave and Rocky meet and it's all nice and low key, too. You know, chill, not

I think RockyRaquel is just one of those people that constantly needs some kind of stimulus in their lives. And if they don't have it, they make it. Or frothy frothy in the laundry room. 

Kate is alllllls over Ben in the galley, stroking his huge asparagus and generally making him uncomfortable. He's trying to get the lay of the land, Kate, not the lay of the day! He does wanna schmear jelly on her skin, though.  Um. Ick

RockyRaquel is expecting Eddie to be the same, but that ship has sailed, ma'am. Kate and Ben cuddle on the couch in the wheelhouse and wow! Kate is so much nicer to be around when she's getting laid!

Claudia and Cynthia from Real Housewives of Atlanta are the primary charter guests and everyone has fun and it's a great meeting. I usually think ship hookups, aka the Office Romances of the Sea, are a bad idea *coughRockyEddiecough*, but it is so nice to see Kate and relaxed and giggly. 

The guests have been very specific about their food requirements and I think that guests should either go exactly that way, or leave themselves entirely in the chef's hands. This in-between wishy washy stuff is bs: oh well, we want protein shakes, but not a particular type...whatever, Punkass!

Amy calls the guests divas and you know what? Not all beautiful black women are divas! Aretha Franklin is a diva! So is Mariah Carey. A bunch of gorgeous women on approach that you haven't heard sing: NOT divas. This is fun, right?? Let's pick ALLS the words apart!

The guests are informed that they will not be able to leave the dock due to the wind and they not happy. There are masseuses and estheticians en route though! And much much chilled champagne and crew members to torture.  

The wind is being a giant buzz kill, thank goodness for cute Emile entertaining the ladies. 

Look how cute they are!! That's Kate giving Ben the beej face because he just yelled at RockyRaquel for kitchen incompetence and it made her hot.

The ladies are starting the inevitable Bad Weather Dance Monkey Dance-a-thon, starting with Emile, Mr. South Africa, who actually calls himself an African Prince because he has the self-awareness of a rock. And a pretty smile!

JFC. I mean. They tell him to make eye contact with them while he feeds them chocolate dipped strawberries.  They're the "pick up your fee with your buttcheeks" type of john! Emile goes the extra mile with the teenage daughter of one of the ladies; mama shuts that down. Good job, mama!

Ben is prepping for dinner and has decided sushi is the way to go, being a big crowd pleaser, and I sure hope that was on the list! Kate makes a massive charcuterie platter and Ben frets.

The Real Housewives are trying to entertain themselves by slumming with the help and crawl all over the crew quarters. Some of the ladies jump right up in those top bunks and stucco alert...

They're also stuffed, as Ben thought might happen, so nobody wants his fresh handmade sushi. Amy suggests they have a low key

evening and let's see if Ben takes this better than Leon. Kate and Ben still flirt. They so banged!! Speaking of, RockyRaquel hears Eddie talking shite about her to Dave and she just doesn't get it.  Eddie has done to her what she did to Emile,  Eddie just kicked it up a frothy notch AND forgot to tell her it was over.

And hey! RockyRaquel needs to talk to someone about her and Eddie...why not Emile?  There are literally at least 8 other people I can think of that would be better for her to talk to, and not even all of those are crew. Eddie comes up and you can actually see his Spidey senses start to tingle.

Amy and Kate talk about her and Ben while RockyRaquel pumps Ben for info about that very relationship. Apparently, in the past, Ben has said that if they ever got married it would be armageddon and she did not think it was a compliment. They're very similar.

The housewives are setting up for the day, and meal times are set in advance,  see? See? That was all Leon wanted! I mean, I'm not gonna jump mostly nekkid off a boat in support, but Kate really did undermine him whenever possible.  Moving on!

To Dave and RockyRaquel gossiping about Ben in the laundry room; blah blah get the penis out what? Blah blah. Teenage girl is in LURVE with Emile and really,  he's probably only 5 years older or so. He gets dragged all over town for shopping and he is just SO patient.

Ben has to cook supper super fast and he turns it out. I love it that these ladies know exactly what they want and are not shy about asking for it.  Their constant picture taking is annoying AF though.

Ben and Kate argue over food serving and they just wanna bang! They spend their time fighting instead. More pictures for the Atlanta ladies.

Ben made that cake allls by myself and yay. Ben follows Kate Below Deck  while Eddie makes up with his girlfriend OtherAmy. Sooooo, looks like he's going with the We Were On A Break Defense.

Ben hops around like a crackhead while the group leaves. Envelope please!! Teenager cries and I'm sad that she feels the most connected with our crew. MY CREW! MINE!!

15k for the tip, yay! Dave is very excited to have cash tips again and I GET IT. They get a night out and it's lovely.  Ben takes RockyRaquel aside to apologize for MuffinGate (she failed to remove the top? properly? ) and good on him for that. I just think he should be wary, she tends to throw her bagina at anyone she thinks might give her attention.

As for attention! Eddie says she's the crazy girlfriend of Emile in their dysfunctional family and she stomps away to ask for blowjobs at the bar. Connie HATES her. And Eddie blows her off back at the boat. Ugliness all around and I'm sad to leave it on such a note.

And we oot!

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