Monday, 2 November 2015

BRR Below Deck Recap S3:E6 My Dearest Emile...

Looks like someone gets fired tonight, whoever could it be??

He cleans up well there, here he is all VBearded:

We roll with Connie limbo-ing on the beach; Emile really doesn't understand that the RockyRaquel ship has sailed and he does not have a ticket.  He's drinking too much and is taking offense at everything and...yeah. Not gonna end well.

Everybody is drunk and heading back to the ship; Rocky is probably going to want to explain very clearly to Emile that she is no longer interested.  He doesn't realize they broke up; he forgot because he was drunk.

EdgyRockyRaquel is gonna shock everyone by putting a whipped cream bikini on Connie, which Leon enjoys anyway. Connie has AWESOME bewbs! And I think he calls them carpet munchers, which has nothing to do with edible oil products OR bikinis.

More tense phone calls with Eddie and his gf. My goodness. She has been hanging out with the dewd she took garbage out with previously,  and lying to Eddie about it. I'm guessing she and Eddie have broken up and she just hasn't filled him in just yet. Dealing with it drunk is mebbe not the best idea, right Emile?

Speaking of not great idea; Connie is skinny dipping and Eddie is pissed at the mess. He leaves a note about the ship not being a frat or sorority house and hey! He's the Dad!

RockyRaquel is annoying just about everyone except New Guy; and woo hoo new guests!  4 women, 2 Primaries that are sorority sisers, which is ironic given Eddie's note. Kate says she was never in a sorority, and didn't have to buy her friends..heh heh

They make fun of the guests and do you think the guests get mad when they see the show later?

RockyRaquel really needs to explain to Emile, maybe in front of EVERYONE, to save time, that she doesn't dig! Does.not.dig! Helpful Kate comes up with some backup plans:
1) bang Dane
2) bang Leon
3) get Emile a hookah

Sah helpful

Speaking of Leon! He and Kate tensely discuss the upcoming charter guest meal plans, which neither primary guest was kind enough to be specific on, and really. This shite needs to be addressed.  Meanwhile, Kate throws Leon a bone in the form of RockyRaquel helping in the kitchen instead of stewing, good call! She's got 6 months of cooking school under her belt and she's actually interested in it!

The guests arrive and yep. They look like sorority sisters. All women and one Jacob. Kate is thinking this will be a breeze and I can tell right there she has never been in a sorority. She didn't even need to say it.

They get out of dock again, Dane's inexperience notwithstanding;  and Eddie gets all snappy.  I feel like he still doesn't have his head in the game, he's all stressed out because of his gf. I mean ex-gf

Leon reviews the menu with Kate and when she talks about a former batshit  crazy chef I have to wonder if she means Ben!

Dane helps the ladies out with the jet skis and gets in trouble for riding in the water fully dressed. This guy is great with customer service, but he's a moroon.

Leon gets a last minute complete change to his menu; he reacts about as well as most chefs do: not well. I see what he is saying; it's tough to deal with a complete menu change at last minute, but the guest isn't really there for YOUR comfort,  Eyebrows. What's interesting to me is that Captain Lee is eavesdropping on their tense exchange. Maybe it's NOT Emile that gets fired today!

Leon decides to confront Kate about her calling him not a "real" chef and she stands her ground. Meanwhile, the jet skis float away...a shirtless Emile recovers them while the guests cheer catcall from the deck. Skinny Kenny Rogers is NOT happy. Come to Jeebus meeting in the wheelhouse! But nobody get fired!  Yet. Dun dun DUNNNN!!

Kate is letting Rocky cook the crew meal tonight and that's kind of cool. Maybe she'll be less irritating actually doing something!  This is me not holding my breath. I cannot STAND her Interviews. Oh noooooo Eddie is flirting with Rocky. This will end terribly.

You know what else will be terrible? RockyRaquel messing around in Leon's kitchen. The guests frolic in the hot tub with talk of vibrators and vagina bubbles and yeah. 4 women. Poor Jacob

One of the guests has not washed her own hair in 7 years. She has been paying other people to wash it for seven years. And this is why we will never be on this yacht, boys and girls; there is a level of wealth required that I cannot even fathom.

Speaking of cannot fathom; the crew meal still isn't ready by 7:35 pm, which is over and hour and a half late. So the guests will eat first and they will be served by hangry crew members swiping their fingers across their plate schmear.

The crew is fending for themselves with avocados and cookies.  When RockyRaquel finally gets food oot for the crew, it's still raw. I'm sure she was just trying to go the extra mile and ran out of time.  It happens to all of us.  Especially the first time. Hangry crew is HANGRY

The guests have requested cream cheese brownies (hey! I have a great recipe! ) and cheeseburger sliders for afters, which means they're still hungry,  Leon. Like the crew. He gets very angry and well, again I have to go with Kate on this one: these women are paying extremely good money to have what they want when they want it. I actually laugh out loud when she tells Leon to "just turn the oven right back on" when he complains.

They're teasing Dane with tinfoil to reset the radar and it's about right.

AHHHHHHH. HE USES A MIX FOR THE BROWNIES!!!! Allllllls the culinaryboner gawn. I even SAID I had a recipe. Geez. If I have a recipe, how can he NOT?? I am disappoint

These ladies are so fun. And hungover. Gingerale to the master, stat! Lotsa vomiting; quick! Be a friend! Pay someone to hold her hair!

When given the option, the guests head for the dock and it becomes worrisome.  Eddie keeps disappearing when his crew is messing up and it's easy to forget  that this is not just a luxury yacht, it's a massive vessel.

The boys gossip about the girls in the galley while we wait to find out the tip. Sorority Hungover Stacey's giant bag hid my view of the tip envelope, sooo. Oh. 15k. That's pretty good. I mean. It's not 25k. Or even 20k. But not bad, right? Amy politely looks surprised and cheers; she's so the TSwift. Captain Lee yells at Kate and Leon gently in front of the crew; they really do need to settle their issue.

I'm starting to think that RockyRaquel is not the problem. ..Emile seems wilfully obtuse with regard to her lack of interest.  I mean, she tells him that she wants him to think of her like a sister. And he tells her how long he can last. Headbang headbang headbang. Not in a sexy way!! She writes him a very clear letter but SHOWS IT TO THE REST OF THE CREW FIRST. Sigh

It looks crazy for the rest of the season. I don't know. What say yous?


  1. So.... I know what a vibrator is; I even know the slang term for it now, but what are vagina bubbles?

    Leon is sounding a bit like a kitchen prima donna.

    1. Poor Jacob was letting the water bubble up between his legs in the hot tub and the wimmens had to embarrass the wee lad. And apparently that's what THEIR vaginas do? They may have been tipsy

    2. And yes, Leon's inability to roll with the punches even a little bit is starting to make everyone suspicious

  2. i dont watch this shite, however 2 of the female cast members are from where I live and I think they are bffs. One is hispanic.

    1. Oh! I thought you were talking about the GUESTS! You must mean Kate and Connie, she's quite dark but I don't know about Hispanic. Kate is so tiny on TV i can't even imagine how little she is in person

    2. One of them is like the boss or second in command and the other is somewhat a newbie? Before this show came back to start their new season, the local newspaper did a feature story on them. Maybe I can google.

    3. Bingo--Kate Chastain and Connie Arias. They did a viewing party at a bar across the street from me for the opening episode.

    4. Yes I thought that's who you were talking about!

    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Leon is such a brat, I don't know how he gets any work. I enjoy Rocky but it took me a while to get there, she's probably so overwhelming in person.

    Emile, ugh! He's so cringey, I can't even watch him.

    1. I like Rocky okay when she isn't trying so hard, you know? And she's very beautiful. just dumb. Kate is probably right about Leon, he likes a schedule

    2. Did you see the part where Eddie said he thought Rocky would kill him in his . sleep? I laughed out loud