Friday, 6 November 2015

BRR Kingdom Recap S1:E10 King Beast

This is the season finale and I'm concerned about Christina.We last saw her drunkenly slurring all over Nate's beard-bang and smoking pot right after being thoroughly manhandled by Alvey in a friendly way up against a wall. She was an addict 5 minutes ago and yeah. That's a lot of using and emotional upheaval. I am still holding out hope for Nate and some sweaty cuddling with some dewd. Oh no. Wait, I am not. THANKS FOR RUINING SWEAT FOR ME, PAROLE OFFICE DANTZLER.

This is it! Fight Day! And we open with Christina masturbating. It looks more painful than like fun alone time, but hey, to each her own whew moment.

Ryan complains and complains and yeah. Now I get why people are always screaming at him. He bitches and bitches and it's all very Dante from Clerks, who isn't even supposed to be here!

Ah damn, Nate got some HGH after all. That stuff is so harmful!!!! Even one course of treatment can have devastating health effects. Grrr. Christina finds the needle cap later while we get to hear and watch her pee. Yaaaaayyyy. I take it back, darted white rhino orderly gave Nate the HGH after all. Man. I expected more from you. As a ginge.

Jay is planning a party to celebrate the fight and Christina is searching the house looking for whatever was in the pointy part of the needle cap. And Alvey shows up finally. Ryan and he make nice and Ryan asks for some alone time to get his head straight and Alvey clears the gym. They shut this gym a LOT.

Christina braces Nate about what he was injecting and he comes clean, but I think she was mostly disappointed that it wasn't Oxy. She's looking a little tweaky.

Alvey and Lisa talk quietly and yeah, she's just done. She says he was gone all night and she didn't miss him at all. She was worried, but didn't miss him and slept through the night for the first time in a very long time. I can't imagine anything more devastating to hear.

Fight prep time! I can see where Alvey would be invaluable in this role, so many years of fighting experience under his belt. Nate is so adorable...Jay is...growing on me. You know the crazy ones always turn out to be the most reasonable, really.

Tense meeting with Christina and Lisa in the stands, passive aggressive barbs are traded and Lisa is pretty good at not playing that girl game. Christina says ''I don't want to take anything from you.'' and is confused when Lisa says ''What could you possibly take from me? None of it's mine'' and it's so true, you know. You can't take someone from someone else. Or a property that you don't have your name on.

I hear there is a real fighter running the mic; but we can't figure out who he is. Ah! Kenny Florian is who it is? Jay is up for his fight and I'M NOT WATCHING. He's up against a real MMA fighter so it oughtta be pretty anyway. NOT THAT I'M WATCHING. Jay wins so quickly!! That was so anticlimactic. Good job Jay! He really is the get for fighting and it would be nice if his dad would acknowledge it.

Christina texts someone looking for a hookup and who is it? Terry, her former pimp? Alvey? We know from this morning that she's feeling a little...restless.

And now it's time for the big fight and Ryan has put in his special ''You're Mine'' mouth guard, so sweet. NOT WATCHING. Sounds grunty. Hubs will be providing fight analysis. The punching seems off, I gather? Shouty now and the first round is over. Ryan dances around a bit in the second but takes a couple of hits to the head after leaving himself completely open and it starts sounding very thuddy. Ryan is down and sustaining a lot of damage by old hamfist there but he makes it through to the next round. Okay, I watch a bit. It makes me miss boxing.

Ryan takes the lead and that's it. He just had to get mad first! He wins. And we have 18 minutes left. To do what? huh. Ryan looks like shite but hey! He won a really important mediocre fight. He thanks Alvey, who leaves, and I'm surprised Ryan didn't jump Lisa right there.

Alvey and Ryan bro is out in the locker room and Lisa walks in and we all hold our breath. Alvey confronts her about if she's coming home and she says she'll let him know where she's staying. So that's a NO, Alvey.

Lisa is drinking at Nate and Jay's and rolling some blunts and awww lookit who shows up! Ryan! I did not see that coming! Wait: what's the opposite of not seeing that coming?

Christina absolutely knows what's up, she finds a morose Nate in the closet, like literally in a closet, if there were closets in living rooms, and tells him that he doesn't have to be happy, but that he should just be himself. Because otherwise, it will be like a stranger is living inside him. If that isn't a rainbow flag waving GLAAD speech okaying her son's love of cack, I don't know what is.

Jay pulls a threeway while the ginger white rhino watches and provides the dope. And pretends to OD. I mean this is the best way. Dese wimmens are UGLY. Coke apparently doesn't buy what it once did. Christina bails to meet whomever she was texting with and Nate wanders a gay bar, where he is denied entrance due to intoxication. Thankfully, his friend from high school sees and runs after. Or just some random dude that sees a very drunk adorable man walking away.

Oh! Christina is going to see Alvey. Interesting. They talk parenting and so much still there. Humming in the air. She says she can't have sex with him again because the last time, she felt like a whore after. I don't really understand that. Oh I was wrong anyway. She called Terry The Pimp for a fix. Addiction is a beast, y'all.

Lisa and Ryan kiss in the bathroom, until she pushes him away and bails, while Nate gets blown in an alley by whoever it was that ran after him at the gay bar. Jay sees Christina isn't home but fortunately she shows up in time to thoroughly disappoint Jay, who recognises the signs of heroin intoxication. Alvey trains and we out.

What did you think? Worth another season? Seems like a lot of investment of time for one little man on man blowie at the end. But the rest of it was not bad. I'll give it a watch.

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