Tuesday, 3 November 2015

BRR Kingdom Recap S1:E8 The Gentle Slope

We're inching closer to the King Beast fight AND some gladiator-style throwing down with Nate, lessee what's coming down the pike!

Jay is at the DMV searching out the tags of the Stereotypical Gangbangers car; he shines on Jennifer (which IS a beautiful name), who is AWESOME and helps him out. Faith based dog rescue is a fantastic cover story and it turns out Enoki will indeed get her legs. It's a long story. And just enough bullshit for Jennifer.

Ryan gave Alvey a loose tooth, does that make him the Tooth Fairy?

Jay is teaching his mama how to handle a weapon and honestly. Muricans. Mama firing a bullet into the ceiling finally gets a smile from Nate, woo hoo! I was getting a leetle tahred of this Jamie Dornan pretty block of wood style of acting.

Lisa and Alvey yak in the kitchen and I have the lingering feeling that they're NOT fine. Oh right! Lisa and Ryan and the visit to his fambly. Alvey and Ryan have a press conference and with both of them beat to shite...by each other..

Alvey always has that stupid hand squeezy thing in his hand and....who uses those???!! Legit Russian Stereotype Promoter is worried about dose faces...

Not worried but should be are the gangbanger stereotypes, who Jay has tracked down. Alvey shows up and Christina doesn't even shoot him, although no way this won't come up. They're gonna talk divorce over supper! Let's see if he stays for the whole meal!

Lisa talks to a lawyer about the divorce, and remember, she put up the money for that about to be maritial asset, but her name isn't on anything. The lawyer suggests a cash offer to Christina or having Alvey sign the gym over to Lisa before the date. Lisa doesn't see Alvey agreeing to either of those.

I think I like Lisa and Jay's friendship the best; they have a legit friend vibe and they're the best of the group.

The press conference! Remember Alvey is off his meds and for dramatic effect, this would be a good time for him to lose it. And right out the gate: first journalist asks if Ryan's dad will be in attendance because Ryan put him in a wheelchair, which answers THAT question, and Alvey loses it. Really, he should have been prepared for that. It's WHY Ryan has been away for a bit.

Lisa pulls a two carat ring out of the safe and asks someone for an appraisal and if they will buy it and I don't understand! Is that her ring from Ryan?? Is that for a cash buyoff of Christina?

Ryan and Alvey disagree on his rage level and I have to agree that the greats seem to have an extra bit of anger over the ones that just have the talent.

Jay and Christina bond over stories of Ragey Old Alvey and him suckstarting a shotgun. Lovely story, can't imagine why nobody heard this story at Christmas or Thanksgiving or one of those other holidays where you talk about past suicidal dryg runs.

Alvey and Nate make up and Christina preens in advance of her supper with Alvey. I have to say: I LOVE how they let her look her age. She's beautiful. Alvey leaves and Lisa...calls Ryan?

She does!! She does call Ryan and they meet at the gym for drinks. She has that "stop talking and put your penis in me" look on her face the whole time. While putting her engagement ring on the table

Meanwhile, Christina is swearing that she doesn't want anything and yeah. Alvey also tells Christina that Lisa "has an interest" in the gym, but isn't a partner. No, she isn't. She OWNS it, just not on paper. Alvey always working those angles. Sigh

Jay goes out with a gun and here's something. You know how it always takes me forever to figure out names on shows? It's partly because they are RARELY kind enough to speak someone's name directly into the camera, with pointing, pleez! amd partly because whenever I have looked up show characters, even in the most basic way possible, there are spoilers all over it without any SPOILER ALERT warnings. Like for House of Cards when I looked up Peter Russo. Go to Wikipedia, you'll see! Anyway, SPOILER ALERT, I've seen that the actor that plays Jay has significantly less episodes on Kindgom than say: Alvey. So. When he goes out with a gun in the middle of the night knowing where some gangbangers are that are fcuking with his fambly...I worry. And get mad all over again

Nate calls someone to come over for a good time, I'm so hoping it's his ex from high school, woo hoo! The hipster dude in mantank and toque (those two pieces of apparel indicate two completely different weather systems!) who rubbed his belleh. Woot!!

Lisa pretends her and Ryan aren't going to bone and he calls her on it. She can't sell the ring...she went to his parents place...and texted him for drinks...it's just a matter of time. She claims pity, but the late night meetup for drinks and all the eye-humping says otherwise.

Oh my bad! Nate called a really beautiful girl, not dude and not Tatiana. She's one of the half-nekkid chicks that is friends with Jay. Huh

Christina mounts Alvey's motorcycle and then Alvey, holy shit. I did NOT see that coming. So to speak. Ryan works out, Nate gets laid and Jay seals his fate with rubber gloves and a cocked pistol. Nate looks bored AND confused, and the wall Christina is up against just looks bruised.

Jay sneaks into the gangbanger house and there is just no way he can do it. Dude has a kiddo in bed with him and Jay is just not that kind of mercenary.

Awkward meeting with Nate and his mother and his I'm Totally Not Gay, Mom bounce...yuck. Soooo awkward. And creepy. Christina asks for pot and yeah. She just got clean. She's trynna be Cool Mom and just being Creepster Mom. Stroking Jay's head.

Alvey gets home and...well. Let's see if he man's up. Lisa pushes for divorce information because oh right! That's what they met for! Not just the dessert up against the wall. He says Christina (his wife, he calls her) doesn't want anything and it couldn't be easier. Well. Easier yes.

Alvey rages about Lisa seeing a lawyer and yeah. This relashie is over. Guilt can make people hella aggressive and that's both of them. Plus no meds. I am concerned for Fictional Character Lisa.

We owt!


  1. Are these the dewds that charterd the boat in Below Deck? Ha

  2. Here's an authenticated, non anonymous comment. See:


    1. I've tried a few things, no dice so far. Will wait and see if Charlie has any luck, him being much more technologically advanced than me and all.

  3. Here's an authenticated, non anonymous comment logged in when commenting. See: