Thursday, 5 November 2015

BRR Kingdom Recap S1:E9 Cut Day

Alvey and Lisa are on the rocks due to Alvey reuniting with his wife and an outside wall and Lisa mooning with Ryan; so much else is going on! Jay also has a big fight coming up and must cut weight, Nate is playing Olympic-level straight (boning almost in front of his mother is COMMITMENT) and there are still gangbangers running around!


We roll at Jay and Nate bonding over brekkie and Ryan fcuking himself. Jay has the line of the night re: Cut Day ''I only have 10 pounds to lose and I'm about to poop out five of them''.

Alvey has already left  the house and Lisa c'ain't find him nowhere. Nate tells Jay he won't be pressing charges against the gangbangers and Jay actually understands and is reasonable. Not the expected response; it's sure nice to see NickJo do more than just grunt.

Unfindable Alvey checks into a hotel with nothing but booze and he looks ROUGH. Ryan has to lose 20 lbs in a few hours and I don't see from where. Nate hilariously talks Ryan into the cut suit and yay NickJo! But Ryan needs his trainer. And said trainer is next to a skeezy pool in a skanky hotel and it is NOT looking good. There is a very wise pool manager talking to him, though, so we'll see.

Jay and Ryan banter and Jay is really asking for a kettelball in his mirror, if you know what I mean. Nate gets up and freaks some guy out by making him spar with him. Meanwhile, Lisa figures out Alvey is off his meds and she goes from irritated to WORRIED. Alvey is staring at bewbies at skanky pool.

I really like Lisa and Jay as friends. I DON'T like Ryan's parole officer, who we see squeegeing up a female co-worker's sweat with his hands and SMELLING IT; today is the day he finds out the Ryan hasn't been reaping rats after all and instead has been working out. And fighting. I don't know how they thought this whole thing was going to be kept quiet. Anyway, surely that won't cause any problems!

Jay and Ryan are nowhere near where they need to be to make weight; Jay still 7 pounds out and Ryan 18. There doesn't seem to be any sense of urgency, though. Very different from when Nate was cutting.

Lisa and Nate talk about Alvey, who has at least texted Lisa so they know he is safe. I'm starting to wonder if this wise new friend from the pool is actually imaginary. Either way, he seems to be keeping Alvey safe so will take.

Apparently cutting weight is akin to a religious experience, Jay and Ryan are in the sauna and Ryan decides to confide that he is still in love with Lisa. And that she kept his ring. Jay would rather be ANYWHERES else. As an aside, cutting does not look fun. I love the vibe between Jay and Ryan, though, and Jay's speech about cutting weight "this is what we DO!" is part battle cry, part pep talk and a primordial chant. It stuck with me.

Alvey reminisces about his past, his marriage with Christina and living the high testosteroni lifestyle. I imagine to someone with bipolar disorder, that would be even more magnified. I haven't seen Frank Grillo, the actor that plays Alvey before, but he really is great. I hear he is in Captain America: The Winter Soldier so maybe me and Wee will hang oot and watch it.


He kinda looks like a roided up Lawrence Gowan! See??



Nate asks for HGH from the orderly pal that hangs out at the gym. Orderly demurs, so maybe he IS a friend.

Ahhhhhh!! Alvey's new friend is feedin him Purple Drank with codeine cough syrup, oh noooo. Lots of bonding, and I still can't tell if friend is imaginary or not.

Ryan's Parole Officer shows up and threatens to send Ryan back to jail...looks like that sweat squeegeeing has a purpose! He has a sexual attraction to salty things. Particularly sweat. I don't know if I've explained what Cut Day means? Essentially the fighters have to lose a bunch of weight in one day, and how they do this is by wearing plastic suits and...sweating. Good old Ryan is one big glistening ball of sweat marinating in his own juices right now and his PO just can't resist taking...his tshirt. The PO runs outside, jumps into his car, throws Ryan's sweaty shirt over his face and whacks it. Right.there.

Alvey and new friend, who may be his conscience, talk and sleep and yeah. Alvey decides to bail. Jay makes weight!! And so does Ryan!! Yay! Everyone yells at Ryan, I don't get it! They are always yelling at him.

Jay leaves a voice message for Alvey that is heart breaking in it's simplicity and muted need and you know. Just go to the weigh in, Alvey. He does call Lisa, so that's something. He asks if she still loves him, meaning Ryan, and she just...doesn't answer.

Season finale is the next, I expect all the poop to be on the fan. And it will be as pretty as that sounds I bet.

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