Sunday, 8 November 2015

BRR Project Runway Recap S14:E02 It's All In The Cards

Ashley won the first design challenge with this look (that I did not get)



And we said goodbye to our New Zealand ginger Duncan because of this dress and now I kinda get it. She's swimming innit.


Lessee the high/lows tonight!
Everyone lurves Ashley and the girls high five and the boys all know Ashley is their main competition. Damn straight! They get a letter from Heidi to go downtown to meet Tim and Special Guest.

Oh! It's a Hallmark store and Swappy gets the TexasAmy award for overselling the ordinary. It's a card store, Swappy! Calm down! Pfft. Alice In Wonderland. The Special Guest is a marketing Suit from Hallmark.

Tim says the cards are the materials for the challenge and Merline throws up in her mouth a little. It's a one day challenge and that's insane. The good part is that some of the cards have bits of fabric and real material so there may be a hope in hell.

I'm kind of surprised when JocKelly says her and Blake are tussling over glittery pink Fabulous cards; I was sure something plaid leather or plaid AND leather would have suited her little 90s grunge heart better. Everyone just goes crazy and those cards are like 6 bucks each,  I hope Hallmark Suit is getting her money's worth.

I still can't believe they only have until midnight to MAKE A DRESS OUT OF PAPER. Swappy is going with a butterfly,  flowers and bees. Everyone is happy to share stuff and me and Blake love it.  Edmond is working from a place of scarcity and keeps all his mediocre ideas to himself so as to not inspire anyone else and what an ahole. Yes, you're in a competition, but if you think anyone is piggy backing off your "antithesis of joy" designing arse, you are sadly mistaken. And one day? You might need someone to share their paper bees so nut up.

Lindsey is worried but Piccolo's is very pretty; all geometric pink plaid shapes in a flattering neckline. Amanda is doing her, Blake is lost. JocKelly is super comfortable with a crafty paper challenge because of her aforementioned thift store heavy childhood and her mom owning a craft store.

We WERE doing so well with everyone getting along,  I mean, it was practically all Canadian up in there, right until Swappy's singsongy Indian accent confuses Blake, who says he doesn't speak Indian. To Swappy. Who is speaking English. Yeahhhh. Swappy puts Adorable Blake on Ignore and on they go.

Gabrielle talks; how did we not meet her last episode? Candice is making a disco ball! Amanda is making a puff ball.

TimTime!! He starts with Ashley and I LOVE her necklace! Like a big pearl teardrop in liquid metal? Big big fan. She's making a poncho and it's still looking very much like a wall o paper. Tim warns her about joints and large shapes.

Swappy is having a black and white party with flowers and several patterns. He is thinking Alice in Wonderland again, but on acid and you know that thing where you're a hammer and everything looks like a nail? Swappy is nowhere near Wonderland. His eyes are PIERCING

Blake is planning a Sparkle Moment for the runway, Tim suggests he go for a Wow Moment instead. I'd just say maybe stay away from what looks like an Ardene Moment and you'll be fine. Merline's looks beautiful, all gorgeous blue with bits of foil overlay but with no way to get a person in or out of it.

Lindsey is one of those that noted that the top three all scrapped their designs after talking to Tim last time; she's not confident in what she has and is seeking advice. He likes her rusty corset though and she decides to keep it.

Jack has shingles.  Not the painful ones, the ones with tar. No bueno. Edmond is working on a wedding dress that needs movement, movement, movement. Candice is working on a strong woman dress and I really like her stuff. Lots of foil and black.

Yang is doing a bunch of cards together with an eye towards having the model peel off cards as she walks as a reveal and eeehhhh. Crafty. JocKelly is in her element as a self-taught and respect.  Just like cooking, however, sometimes school gives you some background to reach into. She's doing a fringe and a LOT is happening. Laurie likes it.

Tim doesn't like Piccolo's pretty pink geometric top; he calls it constipated, stiff and stuck. Tim tells him to free himself! Gabrielle is doing red and pink strips. Laurie is cheating, Tim thinks , too much muslin (but NOT Muslim, Merline!) showing and not enough card stock. Cuddles is one of the first to sketch first, you can always tell the pros. He is designing a Kate Spade envelope dress and I love the dark pink.

Amanda has painted her lace black, which Tim loves, but she has no skirt and no time and we all pull on our hair. She's doing puppy eyes at Tim and he's pouching his lips on his finger.  As he do.

Piccolo gets to call his husband?? Whut?? Outside contact is usually very very limited! They just have cell phones and can connect with the outside world?? I mean. Willam got thrown off Drag Race for conjugal visits and everything.  Anyway. Piccolo just needs to touch base with his sweetheart and it's lovely. Holy shite. He completely does a new look involving a jacket and letters?

Models! Fittings must be hella uncomfortable, paper cuts ERRYWAIR!

Blake is just putting glitter on top of glitter on top of glitter on everything and even Amanda, in her Glitter Is Always An Option shirt is thinking it's too much. Ashley is crying for the second time to Jake/Jack in the sewing room, poor girl. She has a hard time getting out of her heed.

Everybody glue gun! Woo hoo! We get a montage of everyone burning themselves and it looks like fun! Or whatever the opposite of fun is. One hour left! Glue gun for your LIFE! Merline isn't in love with her look and she isn't singing and although everyone else is undoubtedly ecstatic about that, she knows she hasn't gotten to the core of her vision.  I just made that up, but it sounded dope, right?

Piccolo's jacket is called a hoodie covered in letters and yeah. If he can wear it...Swappy's skirt of overdamndone and adorable.  Amanda's skirt is apparently terrible,  but that was Blake's opinion and his judgement. Well. Edmond's dress is GORGE! A dream of a wedding dress, looks like a sculpture of what love should look like.

Runway Day! Everyone tries to finish and everyone is positive and I love it. Oh. Joseph's is terrible. Oh. So terrible. Piccolo's has like NO CARDS. How can he send something with no cards? For a card challenge?

Hair and makeup! I really don't know why they go for homeless with the hair. Make her look like she hasn't washed her hair in 6 weeks! Okay!

Finishing touches! Gabrielle didn't leave an opening for her model to get into her what Ashley calls her vagina-like dress. And. I guess? I really like Laurie's, but that is probably because it looks Already Available. I have no imagination. Amanda says Merline's dress lokks like it has a big old manatee penis and I know she's from Florida and all but I'm pretty sure that shit's illegal whichever state you live in. Plus, it actually looks Egyptian, not like sea mammal genitalia.

Runway Time! What in the Sam Hill is Heidi wearing?? I thought she was gonna have a bewb come out and not in a cool, sexy way, but in a Mama's drunk and wearing a badly fitting blue jumpsuit. Wait till she has to pee! The extra judge is Ashley Tisdale, huh. The Tiz is apparently still working, good for her! Oh hey! Tim is there, not judging, but he gets a save! That's pretty cool. I don't think they mentioned that last episode.

Runway! First up is Swappy's dress and I kind of like. Lots going on but I couldn't find a picture. Sorry!

Then we have Ashley's crappy poncho and we're ALL glad you have immunity at this point, Ash.



And Joseph's Kate Spade conceptual skirt isn't BAD, per se, but it's sure stiff as hayull. No pic either! I don't know about this lettered glittery hoodie of Piccolo's. Very...not cards. Or available pic. I can see where Jake/Jack was going with his roofing shingles, but it looks boring and all of the special details are difficult to see. No pic.

I want to like Candice's more than I do, it looks very much like the inside of card envelopes.

I don't like Yang's but of course I don't.

Bagina Dress is next and it is just an AWFUL silhouette. AWFUL. Like paper mache with the balloon left inside and I really wish I could have found that snapshot.

Laurie's dress is great and I love all the gold but it may be already done. Ooh! I forgot it was paper! So there's that!

I don't know about Blake's. It looks very Forever 21 meets Bratz and it's super sparkly.


Lindsey's dress doesn't look ANYTHING like I expected, I'm holding out hope for the back. It looks Amish in the front.

JocKelly's little top is gorgeous, especially the racerback detailing on the back, but the bottom is kind of hula skirt meets She-ra.

I don't understand Amanda's look. The bottom is all bubbly and the top is that painted black lace but. I think Merline's is breaking as her model is walking. It's not good.



Edmond's is BEAUTIFUL


Judging! A bunch get excused and Ashley is told she is VERY LUCKY she has immunity and AMEN, sister! Testify! Heidi yells at her for all the muslin and I think Piccolo should be very, very alarmed right now.

There are 4 highs and two lows this week, that's unusual! It's always 3/3! They start with Blake's tiny racist ass and they actually liked his Bratz Glitter doll! Colour and presence and looks like fabric. Huh. She looks like an Easter pixy stick

Kelly used a lot of texture and the judges loved it. I love the back and so does Zac! And Heidi. Nina blah blah too much whatever blah.

And they actually like Amanda's look. Huh. Although they say she looks like a party supply store threw up on it. Now here is a note about criticism, because apparently I think I know everything. When you respond really quickly to constructive criticism, like before all the words are out of the other person's mouth; nobody thinks you're listening.

Edmond is the groom! And his dress is GORGEOUS. Impeccable execution and really. It's so beautiful. It's called phenomenonal and exciting and yay!

Swappy is so happy that the judges love his dress and I love seeing him almost swoon over their praise. Yay! High five Swappy!

Piccolo is in trouble. He didn't follow the rules of the challenge. Ashley Tisdale doesn't understand anything anything that isn't short, tight and ho-stroll ready.

Piccolo cries in the greenroom and I hope he doesn't go. Amanda cries too, but it's because she thinks old dumpster-diver Merline should be in the bottom instead of her. I will say that Joseph should be counting his stiff #blessings right now.

We get a peak inside JocKelly's fanny pack, which I hadn't even noticed. It has tea. And a protein bar. And makeup. Scintillating! There's a whole thing about this fanny pack and apparently she has a fanny pack, therefore she is.

Tim comes in and they pick over all the models. Piccolo gets raked over the coals while he cries. Amanda's dress missed allls the marks.

They think Katy Perry would wear JocKelly's dress and the top is just so impeccably made.

I know they like Blake's, but...next!

Love Edmonds and everyone else does too. There is a lot of talent in the top 4 and wow. Swappy's detail dress is adorable and I'm glad they like it.

And Edmond wins, yay! I would have been happy for any of the three, excluding Blake, whose I thought was boring, but yay. Everyone cheers and they're so supportive! It's so chummy in the beginning.

Piccolo and Amanda face the music and...Amanda is in. Awww. David was so sweet. But ultimately didn't follow the rules of the challenge. It's too bad but somebody had to go and we'll see him again soon I bet. Nice guy. Top15, David!!

What did you think?

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