Last week Candice and Ashley of TeamRetro won the first group challenge with this fashionable (all the discordance!) look:
And allllllla Edmond and Yang's bickering led to her dismissal over this look
Everyone is ecstatic the first tortuous group challenge is over, I can't call Joseph Cuddles anymore because he is a straight up diva and I betcha he can't even sing. And he's not all chubby and cute, either, his shirt is just blowed out covering all the poison tipped spikes all over his belleh. I DON'T LIKE JOSEPH.
I find Swappy's eyes hypnotizing! And he's just so nice. The designers are told they must keep their eye on the horizon and nobody understands. I must say, again, how much I lub Ashley's get up. I would wear everything she does and I wish to hell she'd been around and designing when I was her size.
Of course, everyone looks chic and wonderful, I just lurve Ashley's look the most.
Mary Kay challenge up! Tim talks about the architecture and iconic styles of New York, like pencil skirt, trenchcoat, or wrap dress. Mary Kay blah blah sponsor blah. The winning design is going to be in Marie Claire, AND moola! 5k y'all! Woot! Merline likes.
Amanda will make a black and white wrap dress and that looks pretty basic. She is concerned that she doesn't know what the judges want but I'd be more concerned that she's second guessing her own work so much. She's making it basic because she's worried the judges will harangue her for over-embellishment again. Again. Not sure if working towards criticism is the way to go. Sure, take it in, see if it fits, but at the end of the day, you can't make something because you think the judges won't hate it. I understand the motivation, though.
Swappy knows nada re:New York architecture, but goes with a Breakfast at Tiffany's look; which I was expecting from SOMEONE. Talk about your classics! He doesn't known if its New York or Paris and now I don't know! Somebody ask The Google!
Candice is going with a black and white leather cocktail dress. Gabrielle is making a tent coat with a ruffle sleeve and you will have to excuse me for a minute; I just threw up in my mouth a little and I need to rinse. Okay back! Great, under the tent coat with ruffle sleeve *herk*, she's got a turtleneck dress. Sure. Why not? Don't go kinda ugly, go full on uggo.
Blake is sketching something pink and a chubby elderly fisherman is wrecking his flow. Blake and I worry about that baited hook swinging around, I'll tell you what! And then the guy gets fish. Wait. Is he gonna eat the fish that comes out of there? ? Um
Mood Time!! Woo hoo! I miss Mood!! All the fun happens at Mood! Lessee how much money they get! $250 in 45 minutes. That's a lot of money! Wow.
Swappy is getting faux leather and shiny leather, which is apparently big in India, but...I dunno. Reserving judgement! He's a genius!
Blake is choosing beautiful blue glidy good fabric to do a New Dior look? I don't know, he mumbled. Everyone shops and Candice gets vegan leather..whut??
Time is up!! Thank you Mood! And there's Swatch! I love Mood. I swear, if I ever get to New York City, Imma go to Mood and just touch stuff.
The workroom day begins; another one day challenge and they have until 1 am. Now I haven't watched in two years because PR hates Canuckladians, but I don't remember them having this many short challenges in a row like that before. Anyone know if this is standard?
Blake drawl-whines and can't tell time. Oh my. The claws are starting to come out as Candice says loudly that it is not attractive to play dumb. Maybe that's just men, then? Ain't nobody have time for his shite.
Gabrielle is making extra ruffles *herk* as Amanda works on her commitment issues. Her confidence is lacking and she needs to do her. She's also very angry. She needs to let the Manatee Penis go.
Candice has no biceps, btw. Gabrielle is waiting for Tim's feedback and she literally sits and stares at the clock. I have never seen that before. They have less than 10 hours and she's just gonna sit there.
TimTime! Candice is up and her white drama jacket excites her like crazy. Amanda calls Candice mediocre and fake in interview and wow. Amanda, you've been bottom two the last two weeks. STFU jealous B.
Gabrielle waits. And waits. Lindsey 's pencil skirt with shift and full length blazer looks remarkably like Joseph's mumsy matronly outfit last week. Lindsey is like a little mouse but her work seems solid.
Finally Gabrielle! She's worried about proportion but Tim thinks the model fitting will sort that; he's not grasping that the real problem is that she is having a serious crisis of confidence. And I don't hate her ruffle as much as I thought.
Swappy is embellishing the HAYULL out of his tiny black dress. Tim advises against getting all leathery and I whisper chant "no shiny leather". Amanda whines at Tim and she's dealing with her lack of confidence as well. I want to like Amanda, and empathize with her struggle to keep the faith after so much negative feedback, but there is so much bile behind her sadness. She angry and not for a reasonable reason. She's mean. She's making a wrap dress and okay.
Edmond is inspired by music and Whitney Houston so he's making a zip-up jumpsuit and sure. JocKelly has developed her signature style! Tim recognizes her work right away and that is invaluable. You can always tell later on, the anonymous part of the runway designs means nothing down the road, but she's early to define herself and now I shall call her JustKelly. She's doing a modern industrial TShirt and I don't know what that means.
Jake/Jack is making a very simple silhouette and Amanda is an ahole. Joseph is doing a matronly dress with a peplum and have those EVER been flattering EVER on ANYONE?
Blake Is doing a gorgeous blue pencil skirt with purple coming from the back and Tim and I are confused. He's sewing stretchy fabric onto non-stretchy fabric and he thinks that will work by thinking about it in a different way. I don't believe fabric cares how you think about it. We'll see!
Tim is super excited at the positive energy, everyone runs! Kelly has tattooed writing just under her butt cheeks and I can't tell what it says. I once saw a woman pushing her kiddo on the swings with "SWEET" and "CHEEKS" emblazoned just there and that's kind of what I was looking for. I think one said FAITH on Kelly. Candice likes her and thinks she's her biggest competition.
Model fittings! Gabrielle is not doing well, Laurie doesn't need any model help, thankyouverymuch, and Candice's model doesn't understand how breast implants work.
Amanda's dress. Yikes. Boy her interviews are rank for someone Tim Gunn considers a sweetheart. And she calls CANDICE disingenuous? Joseph snore blah blah awww he can't blame the poor fit on Merline this time. Swappy misunderstands what and where a crack is on a model and Lindsey and her flowered floor length blanket dress is aces. If you're into floor length blanket dresses.
Blake is planning to blind the judges with sideboob (SIDEBOOB! OITNB crossover!) and they're lovely but he sounds unsure.
Mary Kay Makeup Time! Blah blah sponsored blah. I dig makeup and really, I have to confess: I love Mary Kay makeup and skin care. So much. I love their lip gloss and magnetic compacts and I'm only pretending to make fun of it.
So much sewing! Kelly is stressed out by her stretchy leather and I don't understand that at all. I understand stretchy faux leather but cows just aren't that flexible. She worries.
Edmond has decided to not do what Tim was so excited about and essentially do what he did with the card wedding dress, but in black and white. Hmm
Blake does not believe in Lindsey's client, who he believes to be a cat lady. And hey, WHATS WRONG WITH READING A BOOK ON A FRIDAY NIGHT??
Gabrielle is regretting her fabric choice, she thought it had something called four way stretch and? Swappy has no straps and that will be a problem because he's not supposed to use the tacky leather. In much worse shape is Blake, who is hand stitching his weird dress together while Swappy and I are not sure where to look.
Runway Day! So rushy. And quiet, no time for play. I am willing to be convinced about these JustFab accessories.
Swappy's piece is all ruffly and has leather straps and I can't get real sense of how it looks. Will see on the runway! Gabrielle broke the serger and nobody knows how to fix it. Apparently you use a serger for stretchy material? Everyone side eyes Blake's dress.
Hair time! Editorial braids are a thing, thought you knew!
Everyone runs! Jack/Jake's buttcheek dress gets panned by Lindsey, no surprise there, and Blake bleeds all over his and has to cover that up with a giant necklace. The model worries it's taking away from the dress and when the MODEL thinks you're messing up...Candice's dress is cute and Blake makes fun of dusty librarian Lindsey's look.
Runway Time! Kiernan Shipka is the extry judge, Sally is so grown up! Blake's bleedy dress is up first and I don't hate it? But the fabrics should not be attached to each other. Very odd
Next we have Kelly's industrial T and it's okay. Joseph's stupid long black dress with peplum sorry what happened? I fell asleep. She looks 40. Lindsey's look gets a giant pan by Zac's sprite-like face. I dunno man. I don't like it but that doesn't mean anything. It's very long and thick and matronly.
Oh I like Ashley's! Light grey and white and a classic shape and I LOVE it! The fabric is gorge. She didn't interview much, so she's fine.
I like Laurie's, but since we didn't see her at all this challenge, Imma assume her ruffled capelet over textured pencil skirt is safe. Jake and his teeny tiny buttcheek dress roll on through, pass.
Amanda rolls ANOTHER unflattering poorly fitted dress down the runway and honestly. Nice fabric?
Swappy's is too high fashion for me to understand, but I love the model's lovely back.
Merline's jacket is badass! I love the fabrics she's chosen and I really like that I can also tell her designs immediately. Instantly recognizable. Heidi looks perky
Gabrielle's dress and ruffle sleeve top coat puts the judges to sleep, I mean. That dress looks like she used just the muslin. I do like the sleeve ruffle though. Maybe if the jacket were longer?
Candice's model is showing a LOT of bewb and its essentially a tight black leather dress.
Edmond's piano key jacket and skirt are up and I kind of like it? But again, no interviewing means it just don't matter.
Merline, Ashley, Joseph, Edmond, Laurie, Kelly and Jake are excused.
Blake thinks he's in the bottom and he's actually in the top! Yay! Kiernan loved it and apparently nobody can tell how crappily it has been made. He is rewarded for his risk taking.
Swappy's dress is also a top and he swoons. I love those designers who wear their hearts on their sleeves.
Lindsey calls her dress approachable and that's not really fashion, right? Her look is a bottom. The dress looks sad and Flea Market-ish and the judges universally hated it.
Gabrielle's tiny tent coat and dress get completely panned and called sad again and wow. It's so all bad. Kiernan gives such good feedback, it's all positive and doesn't sound condescending at all. I would like to be like Kiernan!
Amanda is next and they all hate her work again. They call it Miss Muffet Meh and she pretends to listen and be sweet and man. All I can think of is her nasty interviews.
Candice was recognized! 4 designers have signatures, woo hoo! They love her dress and the leather and it looks real. She talks about her kiddos and we're gonna cry. Okay we do.
The judges excuse everyone so they can grope the models and I call BS when they excuse Blake's piss poor construction but skewer Gabrielle for the same. The problem with Amanda's dress is that it looks exactly like a breastfeeding cover I still own.
And Blake wins! Hm. I would have gone with Swappy's, but whatever.
Lindsey is excused, leaving Amanda and Gabrielle and I bet Gabby goes. And she does. Gbye Gabrielle, we barely knew ye! Good luck out there. Top13 lady! Don't cry! She's so young and hard on herself, but really. Top 13 is no joke, kiddo.
Next week is paintball!