Monday, 16 November 2015

BRR Project Runway Recap S14:E10 Crew's All In

Heeeeyy that sounds like a sailor episode, woot woot! Last week Edmond won with this dress that I swore I saw on Rizzoli and Isles immediately after


And Laurie took her nipple pads and gloriously soft afro home.


Top 6!! This week it's about The Film Crew! Not sailors. Sad panda. It will involve Sally Beauty (Liddy Bisanz and I just bet her name is really something like Nicole Smith) and their makeup guy, maybe the whole crew gets a makeover?? Ooooohhhh!!

And it is that, yay! Candice calls it aDORable, which makes me punchy. It will be tricky because presumably these women have more traditionally female shapes than the bone racks they've been draping.

Camera assistant Katie is hoping for Kelly but gets Merline. She scurrred

Sound Mixer Desiree gets a big hug from her Henry Higgins, or Edmond, as we call him and she's all about the kinetic energy flow.

For the love of Bob. We have an Ashleigh, which is what Kaileigh/Kailee/Kaylee was 20 years ago. She's a Talent Coordinator wearing a tank and bib overalls and extremely happy to be styled by Kelly. All the young 'uns want Kelly!

Jen from production definitely dressed down for today, I wonder if the designers get to ask her provocative questions like "what's the worst thing you could say about Tim Gunn right now? We won't use it, it's just for funsies!" like real prod coords. She gets Swappy and her acid tongue is going to be FUN! By fun I mean absolutely not fun.

Nicole gets Ashley and hay gurl hay she's even kinda maybe plus size? Ashley's face is BANGING today! Lookit that Sally Beauty!


Monique the Model Wrangler gets Candice and she is ready to walk a mile in they shoes.

The designers can do WHATEVER they want and I can actually feel Ashley start to seize up. Too many possibilities! BUT! It's their first two day challenge AND they getta go to Mood! Yay!!

Katie and Merline have issues because Katie just doesn't like Merline's design esthetic. Like at all. No boxy shoulders, no structured jackets, I mean. Katie does realise this challenge is actually about Merline possibly going home over your picky arse, right? Speak up when it counts, like hair and makeup, let Merly do her thing.

Ashley and Nicole discuss a kind of casual but wedding friendly dress and I hope Ashley doesn't psyche herself oot. This IS her challenge and hopefully she can stay out of her heed.

Desiree is feeling the vibe with Edmond and requests a water resistant raincoat. Monique wants a bold statement in blue and Candice is making a pencil skirt and corset. Again.

Ashleighsnsyhs is from Bahstan too! And wears tanks a lot so Kelly is gonna make her a fashionable tank. Fashionable.tank. Imma let that marinate a minute.

Swappy is trying to convince Production Jen that she's a bombshell in waiting and not to worry about her arms. Really; she's the She's All That for this challenge, lovely skin and smile, not too big, not too small, dye the greys and chop that thirsty mess, throw her in ANYTHING: dun

Mood time! Ashley finds a geomtric floral print and my brain just froze and I am suddenly very worried for Ashley. I shall trust in my lavender-haired chica! Swappy and his disappearing facial hair are freaking me out, he interviews looking like a young, tanned Elvis and back to Mood with beastmode Swappy: very confusing. Anyway, he's doing his thing but I don't think tight and close to her body is HER thing.

Candice is shopping like a madwoman, blues for everyone! But specially Monique. Kelly is making maroon pleather overalls. What was that, you must not have heard me:

KELLY IS MAKING MAROON PLEATHER OVERALLS.

Then she calls it neutral. Jeebus wept. Thank you, Mood!

Edmond is making an awesome raincoat.  A raincoat. Sigh. Merline says she's making the jacket today because then she'll have a whole day tomorrow to make the pants and shirt and I smell shenanigans! ! They NEVER give them an extra day! Twist coming! She's made a boxy jacket anyway, which her client specifically asked her not to do.

Ashley cries. You know I love Ashley. Do you think maybe she isn't ready? She struggles with confidence a lot, and I know that they all do and really, alla us do too,  but it stops her sometimes.  Pretty much every challenge, someone has to get out the giant lavender key and wind Ashley back up. I'm not mocking her, I understand better than most how a crippling lack of confidence can stop you from achieving your dreams, it just is one of those things that can get better with time.

Hair consultations! Katie is gonna do the half head shave woo hoo!! Production Jen is getting a big redo on her 'do, just in bloody time and Desiree. Wow. Desiress has beautiful waves and I LOVE IT. Don't change ANYTHING. Ashlyuehdhg is getting rid of her typical blonde foils and she's open to it! Monique and Nicole get funky colour and yay!

Swappy is thinking he's got all the smoking time in the WORLD and just has no work ethic. Candice and I worry about it, but I'm not as condescending as she is.

Tim and Crew walk through! Plus fittings! Kelly of the maroon pleather overalls and Ashleikbghui are up first, Tim thinks is not enough. Plus the overalls give Ashleyjsnee a diaperbutt AND longbagina so...yeah.

Tim and Monique have lost Candice's esthetic in her boring work and he calls it a bowl of oatmeal. And H&M. Buuurrrrrnnnnnn

Tim and Katie are NOT happy about this big boxy jacket and even less about her time management (since there is just ONE piece to try on). Yeah. Merline has a lot to do

Ashley and Nicole are not on the same page re:arms and guuuuuuuurl you know better than that! BIG GIRLS COVER ARMS. PERIOD. Tim and me are very frustrated that Ashley is crying again about ANOTHER challenge, especially one parked directly in her wheelhouse.

Let's hope Edmond and Desiree can get past the built-in camel toe of the dropped.crotch.pant. One more time. Dropped.crotch.pant. For a woman.  Who is neither a current dbaggy pop star with an angel's voice OR a one hit wonder from 1989. Huh. What really boils my blood is Desiree trying on her VERY SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED RAINCOAT and says it isn't "Runway" enough. Ah sweet baby thor, please heal this woman in her stupidity and make all of her pants dropped crotch for the rest of her natural life. Tim thinks Edmond insulted Desiree with this boring raincoat that was built exactly to her request. Man.

Oh Swappy. You didn't listen to your client at ALL. You're the antithesis of Edmond, who listened to his client too much. Swappy's dress is tight stretchy leather and the back is open and she HATES IT. Tim is angry. Production Jen can't even try anything on because nothing is ready and when Swappy says that's why he wanted to wait, Tim snaps. Bullshit this and Bullshit that and then the EffBomb, nobody can believe it. I'm starting to wonder if Candice is right, if Swappy isn't as invested in winning as everyone else. Tim is almost in tears he is so angry and asks him why he is here. Swappy has no answer. He blames everything on Production Jen.

Tim comes back in to play good Dad and give them an extra fitting, my goodness.  I hate it when Dad's mad.

Everyone is completely redesigning their looks for their clients and Swappy is STILL wandering around. Kelly has decided to add a pleather maroon vest to go over the pleather maroon vest.

Ashley has made her girl dowdy and a PEPLUM. Honestly. Swappy just wants ProdJen to be happy,  but he's not doing anything to accomplish that, like listening to her. At all. He begs fabric from everyone and Ashley gives him several yards of HEY! She said she didn't have any fabric except that geometric floral print that Candice and I hate!

Anyway, Swappy's working on outfit number three for ProdJen and he just comes off as such a conman. I'm starting to anticipate the backside of Swapnil Shinde hitting the door.

Runway Day! And the designers run. Swappy is still begging scraps! Now a zipper from Kelly and he's shaven and praying to all 10 thousand gods that ProdJen is happy. I must say, it's complete BS that he's blaming it all on her, of he had just listened to her for even a moment! One moment! It would have been legendary.

Hair and makeup time! Desiree is a stone cold FOX, yo! 5 minutes to runway!

More tense time with ProdJen and Swappy and I'm starting to swing over to sympathizing with him (Imma swinger!!) as I don't think ANYTHING would have made her happy. Like nothing. Some of us were meant for H&M, you know?

Swappy and Edmond gossip about Tim and how Swappy can make Dad happy. It's good that they have each other for support, but sometimes it's almost like an echo chamber. They seem to save all the criticism, constructive or otherwise, for interviews and maybe a friend with a critical eye is a good thing.

Real Runway Time!  Extry judges are Shiri Appelby and Constance Zimmer from UnReal, which I remember JSierra talking about fondly.

First up is Ashkdhdhen in Kelly from the deli's pleather look


And then Desiree walking for Edmond and it's cute


ProdJen looks cute and she works it while Swappy complains about her rigidity. No legs, no arms showing!


Monique is wearing Candice's hookah wear. Oofta


Nicole and Ashley's peplum look fine. Well. She looks like an elderly Easter egg threw up on some stretch fabric, but she looks happy? I think she looked better in the before pic with jeans and tshirt.



Katie in Merline is HILARIOUS on the runway; she does a whole giant hair flip to show off her undercut. Had to re watch. That was RIDIC.


Kelly and her pleather overalls are called FANTASTIC by Nina and I threw up in my mouth. Not just a little either. Candice does not get the rave reviews Kelly did; her work is called boudoir (to be kind), hookerish and stripperish. Desiree and her raincoat and dress get panned by everyone and I think it mostly confused everyone. Why make a jacket?  Why make a matchy matchy jacket? What's this thing in front? Nobody knew.

Katie and Merline are a top, yay! Katie got lots of props for shaving her hair on the one side, but that is sooooooo 1985 Mick Hucknall fan. Meanwhile, the Swappy Trainwreck continues. ..he professes to distrusting his talent and I LOVE when Zac calls him out on it: "NONSENSE" , because who says nonsense?? And then rolls his eyes through the rest. I am with him there. Swappy has all the faith in his own talent and salesmanship, and no regard for the intelligence of the judges. Pfft I say!

Zac does not understand how Ashley could DO that to Nicole and well yeah. This is what she DO! And she didn't do it. And the PEPLUM. More tears. Sigh.

The judges are so angry, in fact, that they've decided to maybe send two people home. If I were Ashley and Swappy, I'd be packing right now.

And motherhumper. Kelly and those fckluking pleather maroon overalls WIN. For the love of

Bai Swappy. That was foreshadowed alllllls the way through. Tim doesn't even cut him any slack, directing him to the workroom without one extry warm comment.

Now we find out if anyone else is going. And they both get to stay. Honestly, that was insane. Ashley, GET IT TOGETHER. I just wish the best for her.

7 comments:

  1. I feel like I know the contestants by now. Fun recap

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks fella! I feel like I'm losing friends each week now

      Delete
    2. I feel Becky's work deserves more than 2 comments even if she reviewed a crapfest, so now she has 3. Enjoy your summer day Becky!

      Delete
    3. Becks is doing the Vanderpump Rules recaps, the rest is unfortunately mine.

      Delete
    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    5. now I figgered it out, I went back out from Becky's and hit this one because my browser took me to the bottom of the page and I thoughr it was still Becky's because I only saw one long post. Nevermind, still deserves more than 2 comments and it's still a crapfest show whatever it is....

      Delete