Friday, 27 November 2015

BRR Project Runway Recap S14:E12 Roll Out The Red Carpet

Kelly from the deli pulled a twofer with back to back wins with this walking bridge look


 We finally lost Merline with her delicious burgundy drapey thing


And this is it!! Whoever DOESN'T go home is going to Fashion Week!! Lessee who is going to be the most.bummed.ever.

I would like to see Ashley's (of COURSE: plus size whut whut!), Edmond's and I guess Kelly's. Her work is fine, just. I may be too old. I'm NTD, y'all! Pleather maroon overalls. Pfft. Which means I have less than zero interest in Candice's 13 tight black dresses with white jackets.

They're sending everyone to Los Angeles!  They will be using the city of LA as the inspiration for their red carpet looks and they're off! Yay, Tim's going too!! But. They will be doing a runway here? So flying to LA from New York for ONE DAY? Which way does jetlag run? Angela Lansbury knows! She knows everything.

They arrive in Cali and check into the Best Western. Like really,  PR? Best Western? Candice has her game face on and oooohs and ahhhhs at the totally generic hotel room. Tim has left them a message to meet up by the pool and oh! Now it makes sense! He's there with a Best Western suit blah blah blah spiel blah rewards program blah blah. They're offering the challenge winner 100 free nights at any of their hotels or resorts and that's decent! Candice doesn't even have to fake enthusiasm at that one!

Tim takes them up to the Hollywood Hills for inspiration and brings out Keltie Somebody from The Insider.  Wasn't that the show where some host named Bill kept trying to get workbeejes whilst schwasted? Must ask The Google. Anyway!

Edmond thinks Keltie looks hot and. Huh. Well. I guess he COULD be straight, but don't let the sisterhood know, guuuurl. Michael Kors will cut a dewd.

Keltie doesn't look hot to me, but that might be just how much she leans forward to emphasize her completely typical Entertainment "News" delivery.

She advises them to incorporate the three things she likes to see on the runway: drama, colour and fit. Take risks! I prefer take chances and make mistakes but I'm old school.

They get $400 each for their Mood shopping spree, woo hoo! Kelly says her car only cost $500 and WE GET IT KELLY. YOU BROKE. NO ADVANTAGES. Now design something that doesn't make me wanna throw up: priceless.

And then they're going to Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising!! Yay!!! I remember one season they stayed there and that may be my brain failing. I blame Vanderpump Rules and the two horse pills I had.

The designers sketch; Ashley is going edgy and asymmetrical, Candice is thinking open back and Edmond is going to revive Old Hollywood AGAIN. Boooorrrrinnngggg!! Kiernan thinks Old Hollywood would be great in his experienced hands. Kelly says something about a V? Did she mean Vee? Oh. Triangles.

Mood Los Angeles also has a puppy!!! I love Mood. Um. Kelly is using applique and it looks exactly like MeMaw drapes. Good luck!

Edmond is going with a multi colour sequin fabric and Ashley thinks a shit-brown sequin with a silver back is the way to go. Now. I've said this before but I'm still waiting for an answer: I know you CAN make a shit-brown / silver reversible sequin, but why would you?

Candice is using a mesh sequin glitter in black. Then black tulle. Then black lace. She thinks she's Morticia Adams; she is NO Morticia Adams!

They have a day and a half for the challenge, and Ashley has actually designed TWO looks in case Tim doesn't like shit-brown reversible sequins. Good call, Ash! Edmond implores his multicolour sequined fabric to speak to him and he worried. It's not talking to him right now and they don't really have time for couples therapy. Hey, wait a minute, he said Old Hollywood!  What in the seqined hell made him think this tackorama material is OH? He scurred.

Kelly cuts triangles.

Candice is building her shell and muses that it looks "dipped in heaven"

Edmond is still staring at his fabric. He decides to pray to the Fashion Gods and they busy. He's inside his heed and that is never safe and I'm sorry, Edmond.

Candice explains New York Fashion Week to Kelly while they carefully shade Ashley's ready to wear background.  Ashley owns that; you ladies can keep her name oucha mouths, worry about yourselves.

Ashley is feeling comfortable and empowered and she doesn't need your two-faced support, Candice.


Kelly is cutting and sewing triangles.

Edmond stares at his fabric.

He eventually makes a dress out of backup fabric because he's afraid to cut the colourful fabric. Sigh. I feel bad for him. The struggle is real with this one.

Tim Time! Candice has constructed a tight black dress, natch, but a really boring one with really stupid looking details. Like zo


She calls it a sleek silhouette and Tim calls her out for her tacky gold trim. She interviews about her evolution on PR and that's making me want to go back to the first epi and see what she made. I bet it was tight and black.

My bad! It was a tight WHITE with black dress

Her look has no drama and no colour, so I hope it fits great!

Ashley shows Tim her fun and funky reversible sequin dress. He suggests that there is too much to look at and everyone watches and eats and interviews that Ashley just can't cut it for the red carpet. Imma say this one more time, you iceholes: WORRY ABOUT YOURSELVES. She cries.

Kelly's triangle dress just isn't. ..Kelly. Tim empowers her to make the jumpsuit she wanted to do in the first place and she cries.

Edmond tries to explain his untouched bolt of fabric and Tim pumps him up. I think he might cut it soon!

Kelly is 'cited about her jumpsuit and she decides to go super tight and badonkadonk and foreshadowing!

Edmond cuts!! And the heavens open and Hallelujah!


Ashley has messed with bad boning before and today is no exception.  Candice side eyes her plastic supports and I'm worried for my lavender cream puff!  Her dress looks STOOPID.

I don't know about Edmond's look. It looks done but ugly. He has the scissors again! And he cut the shit out of it. Its coochie length all of sudden and psycho music plays. It's very Diana Ross?

Kelly thought she had a bunch of stretch to play with and that is NOT the case. Her badonkadonk model is gonna be arseoot on the runway and Kelly can't stop thinking about it.

Back in New York! Ashley has an awful gold sequined jacket thingy, take that off! Kelly looks cute and Tim looks FANTASTIC.

Model fittings! Kelly is doing her best to get the pants zipped and it works! She talks a lot about nothing, hey? She's Middle!

Ashley is adding a strap for bewb cover while Edmond is cutting again!! Edmond! Stahp!! Candice's dress fits really well. As all her tight black dresses do.

Hair and Makeup time! I feel like I should say that I wake up with my hair looking like Ashley's model. And I didn't even know I was red carpet ready!

Edmond talks about his road here and I wish for him. He cries.

Did you know Kelly is gonna be a Kangaroo Pirate for Halloween? And now you do. They have a lot of time to fill with only 4 designers left.

Runway Time! Heidi is wearing an orange and pink houndstooth dress...and that's enough said. Extry judge is Christian Siriano; yay! I remember his season, but mostly I remember Amy Poehler's bang on impersonation.


Ashley's bronze (bronze! She called them bronze!) sequined dress is first, I LOVE. It looks like shes been dipped in gold, not poop as expected and her model's rack is really all I'm looking at. Awesome!


Kelly's triangle jumpsuit looks...okay? Doesn't look red carpet anyway


Candice's model looks like she's going to a wake, and not a fun one, either. She says "nice and subtle", which is EXACTLY what I hear all the time on the red carpet. Subtlety. Booorrringgg


Edmond's teeny tiny tacky dress with open back and and capey arms is being worked to death by his model, but. Yeah. I think I saw her reproductive organs. That's a SHORT dress.


Judging! Candice sucks arse like a pro (whatever happens, I've just grown so much, happy to be here, blah blah kissy noise) and congratulates herself on her growth and Heidi loved her boring tight black dress. I am disappoint.

Kelly 'splains her look, which she calls Katy Perry at the VMAs, Reno! Heidi loved it. I do love how Zac commends her for her growth throughout the season, firstly because it's so true, and secondly because it's the same thing just said about Candice. But only by Candice.

Heidi thinks that Edmond's risky tiny dress is Already Available and not fashion forward. Zac is disappoint.

Christian really liked Ashley's, calling it expensive but dangerous. Heidi loves it. I hope for her!

Ahole questions time! Why should you win? Who should go with you to Fashion Week?

K: blah blah deli blah blah growth. Everyone but Ashley should go to FW

C: blah blah love it or hate it blah blah brand DNA. Everyone but Ashley should go to FW. Ashley's just ready-to-wear, doncha know?

E: I'm passionate, this is what I DO. Everyone but Candice should go to FW

A: I wanna keep learning. Everyone but Candice should go to FW.

Let's grope a model! Candice first and they call her boring dress smart and strategic. I mean. They told them to take risks! Everyone loves Kelly and her Katy Perry jumpsuit. I'm sad because no way is Edmond going to Fashion Week. Ashley's is a maybe.

So who's going to Fashion Week?? Candice. Yay. Kelly, to be expected, 3 in a row! Yay and the Best Western 100 hotel nights reward too!

And Ashley is in. And Edmond is out. So sad. Poor Edmond. Top Three Estrogen Pac!

1 comment:

  1. Pulling a twofer... Is that different from pulling a train? Has to be. I think a train is a threefer +

    Nice. Working in Angela Lansbury. That isn't always easy. *golf clap*

    I should dig oot old pics. I have some from Hollywood Hills and Mulholland Drive.

    Kelly working the poverty sympathy angle. Kelly... in college I was so broke, you look like you just stepped out of the 1920's Hamptons. And I sure as fcuk wasn't on a TV show fronting me a per diem. STFU

    Ohhhhh "HORSE" pills

    Other than an onstage dance production, does anyone actually wear tulle?

    Is shell a euphemism?

    Edmond is praying to Tom Ford?

    Sounds like lots o' crying

    "Head up; arseoot... that's they way we like to walk"

    WTF is a Kangaroo Pirate? Only have half a pouch?

    Caint watch the video. Canada hates me. and I am like a close cousin "Where da hate coming from, Canada?"

    Edmond's dress is a stand all night long version. Good thing the model is in sensible flats... wait.

    Woo hoo. Go Ashley



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