Saturday, 28 November 2015

BRR Project Runway Recap S14:E13 Finale Part 1

I can't believe we're here! We're at the finale and I just feel as though I've grown so much as a recapper throughout and blah blah yay me! Candice, Ashley and Kelly will be showing whatstheygot, but frist, let's say goodbye to Edmond, who created this wonder out of greeting cards.

Oh my god, we DON'T have to say goodbye to Edmond!!! Tim used the TimGunSave!!!!! Oh Edmond, I am so happy for you, AND for me, because now I getta see a whole bunch of your beautiful clothes. We all cry. He's auditioned every single season and now he's going to Fashion Week.

Candice calls it kindness and me and Tim immediately repudiate with "It's not kind! It's deserved!"

Top 4!! They meet Tim and Heidi on the runway and they get 7 weeks and 9 thousand dollars to build their collection. 9.thousand.dollars.

They encourage Ashley to do a plus size collection, YAY!! SO 'CITED! She's up first and at her sister's house in San Diego. I see a lot of pink and polka dots and Tim! She calls her collection throwing back to her heritage, so Mexico in the '50s. She's Hispanic?

She's hand dyeing fabric with sequins and she has enormous flowered headpieces that Tim warns of matronly. Tim loves it all!

Supper with Tim and Ashley's parents! Her family is indeed Hispanic and they have Tim help make tortillas. Her dad wants to streak nekkid on the New York subway and. Please don't. Her mom and everyone are just so excited that she's doing plus size and ME TOO!

Candice is in San Francisco and they take him to the beach on a grey, grey day. He always has a great pocket square and he felt very overdressed out there tromping through the sand! We meet her children Perseaus and Logan and I can't roll my eyes too much, I love Greek Mythology. If I had free reign and a girl baby, I would have tried for Persephone.

Candice's collection is all leather and textured leather and more leather and some black stuff and yeah. She calls it a romance and mystery story and Tim...the giant dress form cage makes Tim caution her against full tilt drag queen and I must use that soon. NURSE!

Kelly is in Springfield, Massachusetts, so looking for Homer!  She's done all ten looks in a seventies Studio 54 style mixed with streetwear. Huh. I see a lot of sequins and fanny packs and I saw one of those at the airport today! Still not cool

All of Kelly's work is beautifully done, just not my style. Tim and Kelly meet her family, is this the deli?? It doesn't look like a deli. They all almost-cry and it's so sweet.

And now we're at the deli!! Yay! They make Tim a special sandwich called Big "Gunn"Milanese and I'm suddenly reminded that Tim is gay. I never notice or think about it on the show normally,  but here in Testosteroni Heaven, where the meat and the men are thick, it's really noticeable. He's so awesome, I hope he never. You know?

We meet Dougie, Kelly's boyfriend and he is ADORABLE but. Dougie?  A grown man who calls himself DougIE?

Edmond is in Atlanta and let's see what he has! I may have spent more time than I should have wondering if we're gonna see his significant other and what gender he or she will be.

Edmond is going glamorous and luxurious and all I see is ruffly black gowns. In an apparently stiff non-moving fabric.  He hasn't finished enough and Tim is concerned.

Meet the fambly time! They meet his parents at The Rusty Nail and I am reminded of one very long evening with so.many.rusty.nails and anyway, where were we? Ah yes. Passion for design. He hasn't shared any of his looks with his family and that's a little odd, hey? His mom was a FOX back in the day!

Candice is the first to arrive back in New York,  followed by all the other ladies. Lone Dewd Edmond is last and everyone looks great and are so supportive. Mimosas for all!

Candice says her collection speaks volumes and it doesn't matter if anyone can hear you, it's about having the strength to speak it. Agree!

They go over Ashley's history on the show and her confidence issues come up, as well as the tears.  And more tears. Oh my. She kept the headpieces.

Everyone's looks are there and yay! Nobody is looking at anyone and Candice's wow pieces are intimidating everyone. Wood. Leather. Edmond has no time for nicey nice; he has three pieces to make, ladies!

They have a challenge: present three looks to the judges and they have to create a new look today! How can they be surprised? ? This happens every year!

They get $250 to Mood-shop and remember: lots of times this last look ends up being THE look. They sketchy and grouse. Edmond is wicket behind.

Candice has giant white bewbies and I'm distracted cause they're out and all over the place.

HahahahhahhahahahahhahHah Ashley finds a purple colour she calls eggplant and I think she means aubergine, which is BULLSHIT! Also, I have eggplants in my kitchen;  that's not even close.

I've never seen anyone go over budget at Mood; Edmond goes $145 over. That is some piss-poor estimating, Ed.

Kelly's history on the show is gone over and she really did build to a big finish;  three wins in a row.

Candice runs over immediately to see what Edmond pulls out of his garment bags; I just see everything she says as condescending. I'm trying, Kiernan! She thinks maybe Candice is too. Candice does a slight read on the designers for never complimenting her looks and everyone but Kelly bites. I've worked for compliments, before, so I getit, but that's completely at odds with the persona she is trying to project and maybe that's part of why she comes across as fake to moi. Or I'm just not giving her a decent chance.  Sorry, Kiernan.

Makeup consults!  Did you know Mary Kay does the makeup on this show? CHEQUE PLEEZ!

Moar piping and detail work and fanny packs for Kelly and I just hate everything,  but I can see where other people would LOVE it. Tim says there's something very palpable and potent about her collection and I just love him so hard.

Edmond has chosen three very different looks to represent his collection and Tim is uneasy that one of these things is not like the other. A Victorian ruffle thingy is surrounded by light and airy.

Ashley thinks dyeing fabric is the way to go and...that is mental. They have like 17 seconds!

Candice's time on the show is reviewed and yep! Lots of black and tight. And black tight leather. She counts compliments again and I am thinking about her need for validation. I think we all have that but hers is TURNT UP; maybe the growing up in that unstable environment?

She hasn't pulled out any of the colours or print pieces in her first selection;  Tim insists. She's made a new dress that looks exactly like the one from the red carpet look last epi. Subtlety.

Ashley's blue dress looks like drapes cut in the wrong proportion. Tim is more worried about the headpieces and advises her to get feedback from the judges.

Model fittings! Candice thinks her biggest competition is Edmond and they're gonna go toe to toe. Speaking of competing,  Kelly is freaking out about a tiny stain on her toolbox dress and practically accuses Ashley of sabotage when she offers some Colour Remover. "You're welcome, you ahole!" is what Ashley SHOULD have said. Pfft

We go over Edmond's past on the show and really, when he is focused, his work is insane. See above ^^^^made from greeting cards. For the love of Thor. He hasn't even STARTED the new look! He worked on the rest of the collection instead.

Kelly is disappointed in the paleness of her model's skin and that is awesome!  You never hear that. "Damn! She's too white!"

Hair and Makeup time! Edmond' s ladies are all shimmery and I dig.

Runway time! Candice figures Kelly is her main competition, but also calls Edmond a threat. It's like Ashley isn't even there!  I want Ashley to blow her patronizing arse right out of the water.

Has anyone ever watched the prize rundown? It takes 5 minutes to go over everything they designers get and no cheques have shown up yet, so I'm not gonna write it out, but wow. Random.

Heidi is all proud of giving them a little twist, the extry look for today. Speaking of twist, lookit this skirt Ashley has on! It's like a lemon dream!

Candice's 3 looks are up first, I dig the red and white and print. Still leather but cool. The extra look is very modern witch and I may have groaned JFC when I saw it. I tend to not dig Candice's style, though, so grain of salt time. The third look. Sigh. It's Sandy's skin tight satin pants from the end of Grease (these are NOT the ones that I want), a tube top and a leather cutout duster with a head thing. Zac looks as confused as I am.

Kelly and her urban 70s studio 54 in toolbox print is next. Plus really ugly shoes. Next is sparkly ill-fitting shorts with a wood-print camisole and bedazzled fanny pack. But the real horror is the last look, which I will not describe. NTD, y'all!

Edmond's beautiful elegant dress looks like fashion all of a sudden and the bow dress walks beautifully. Victorian is next and...I don't get it.

Ashley is kind enough to explain her work; the first is a lace crop top with a pencil skirt and this model looks fantastic, but. Lace crop top for plus size is like showing arms in plus size. Never happen. The extra look in purple (NOT aubergine, which is BULLSHIT), is beautiful and super sexy but...again. Crop top. Also the third look! For the love of god, woman!  Every chubby wants to show her belleh in theory, so so rarely in practice.

Judging! Tim is taking notes for them and that's awesome.  I just love him. Edmond is up first and they don't think it has the combat boot esthetic he is personally rocking. They eye the ruffles skeptically and advise him to not only drop the entire Victorian look, but to sex it up and also

Kelly and her new wave streetwear / Studio 54 gear are called kooky and she is advised to glitter that shite up. Heidi thinks they look cheap, quickly made and Forever 21, boring, her fanny packs aren't sparkly enough. Nina also calls the shorts ill-fitting!! And calls the rest throwaway. Dayum, judges, tell us what you really think!

Ashley gets read for her awfully fitting crop top on the quilted number and for the back on the lace crop top showing everything and they love the cohesive and consistent collection. The fit is just terrible. The headpieces are...ehhh maybe. I bet Ashley will still use them.

Candice's new look gets called "witchy bitchy" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA and Tim carefully writes that down while calling the rest Gothic Ascot. Heidi hates it too and what she says must also be written down carefully because it made my heart sing in it's brutality.  I am a bad person.

"There are too many question marks. And then they all have these weird long eyebrows and you're trying to be edgy but really all you're doing is putting all the clichés of what people who are not in fashion think a fashion show should look like."

I'm not a totally awful person because I did cringe a bit. HONEST!! So simple, yet so "you don't know what you're doing.  Poser". Wow. Nina says "Alexander McQueen can do Alexander McQueen. You cannot". Woooooowww. Candice looks like she wants to throw up and I feel bad for her just that tiny bit.

And we oot! Just one show left and we find out who wins!!

1 comment:

  1. High Five for working repudiate into a sentence.

    Ashley finally embracing what she knows

    I gave up Chuckie around age 8

    So Edmond is STILL ambiguous?

    Um, fannypacks? Really?

    Ashely cries a lot, but Candice sounds awfully needy. Candice also loves leather

    Heidi... zing!