Sunday, 22 November 2015

BRR Project Runway S14:E11 The Runway's in 3D!

Last week Kelly from the deli won with MAROON PLEATHER OVERALLS

We lost Swappy to this batwing capelet bullshite

And ALMOST lost both Candice and Ashley to really off the mark crew outfits. Ashley:

But it's a new week! And Edmond is the last man standing!  You know, I gave Ed a hard time for his bs week 2, hiding his work so as not to inspire any other designers

But he's really opened up and I dig his looks and I'm just so happy for him;  he's been auditioning since day 1 and I would really like to see his collection at Fashion Week. Hoping for Top 3 for you, Edmond! I mean, he made this out of greeting cards

He comes over to visit with the ladies, and everyone talks about how Swappy choked and blah blah blah all I can see is Kelly's AWFUL extensions. I mean. Even KMart wouldn't sell these hair systems.

I also make that face when looking at them!
Heidi splaining the challenge! They'll be bringing NY landmarks to life in 3D! This sounds like Merline's challenge to lose.  Off they hoof to see Tim by the East River Bridges. They will be designing using the Queensboro,  Manhattan and Brooklyn Bridges for inspiration.

Kelly won with the MAROON PLEATHER OVERALLS above and gets to choose; since she's OBSESSED with hip hop (and Wu-Tang?), she chooses the Brooklyn Bridge. Button bag pits Merline and Candice against each other for the Queensboro bridge, which leaves Ashley and Edmond battling it out over the Manhattan bridge.

Quick note: I have less than zero interest in seeing a Merline Collection at Fashion Week. I feel as though I will inevitably see Kelly there, and probably Candice, but.  Not Merline.

Anyway! It's an Avant Garde challenge!  They getta use 3D printing for this and a 3D Systems suit explains their sponsorship and this new technology. Side note: on The Knick last night they debuted X Ray machines and I laughed out loud when they pointed all the radioactive materials at a skeezeball's head and said "now wait an hour". Edmond says he's Turnt Up! And everyone pretends to be excited about winning a 3D printer but we know no1curr.

Kelly is going to make someone a walking bridge. A walking bridge. A WALKING BRIDGE. Candice is going to go with a tight fitted and flare triangle dress, because of course she is. Merline will be doing something strong and structured because that is her bread and butter, while Ashley is accentuating the "curveness" for the very same reason. Edmond has really just thought of where to put his label and that's it. He's gonna design on the fly so I no longer anticipate his collection at Fashion Week.

Mood Time! They have 30 minutes but hey! Y NO TELLING US BUDGET?? I like it when they tell us the budget! I'm guessing it's $200 because Edmond spends $199.99.

Kelly finds what she calls a perfect brick-like vinyl and I call diner upholstery and looks for cords material to add sophistication to the dress. That's what I always think when I see someone schlubbing aboot in cords: wicket sophisticated! !

Ashley is going androgynous with see through mesh cigarette pants. See.through.mesh.pants. Candice thinks her signature is black, but really, all the goth wannabe Louise Brooks's use black, so is that really a signature? She tries to break out of that dark rut with red, but goes and gets some black "just in case". Never change, Candice. Merline and her delicious burgundy concerns me. But not really, cuz I don't wanna see her line anyway.

Merline does a mood board with cut out pics of bridges...Edmond gives her a cuddle over her Vision Board and like JSierra says, I'm really glad this season isn't about the designers being really catty and taking potshots at each other. At least now that those mean girl iceholes are gone.

Everyone has different ideas about what avant garde means and I think it is one of the resistance fighters in Top Secret! , right? And Chocolat Mousse! Now I'm hongray

Kelly's actual bridge dress and Ashley's arse-oot pants are the most talked about, I look forward to the runway defenses!

The 3D Systems suit comes in and Candice is stoked that the head of the company is a woman, it's sad, isn't it? That we notice and am so excited about that? In this day and age? Man. We need to get better at alla dat. Oh hold on, gotta tend to the kids in the kitchen while making supper for my hubs. I will probably not be leading the vanguard but I will make all y'all cookies while you are protesting!

Candice has printed out multiple 3D prints and everyone is jelly. Which makes me think of Unfortunate Ginger Kiwi Duncan who went home frist with his coral drapey sheet.  Everyone thought he was the look to beat, except the judges. And me! She's so 'cited about her gown and Tim waxes poetic about the "crisp hardness" of the 3D printing calls it compelling and I do lurve him so. The dress is aight.

Ashley and her curveness are called two different looks by Tim but she doesn't cry! She looks like she's found peace and she didn't struggle over the design and I'm so happy!! I would really like to see her collection at Fashion Week.

I don't think Edmond's look is avant garde, but Tim likes what he calls his "black story". I don't know. Me and Ashley are skeptical.

Merline's work is uneven and Tim warns her about it. She takes it as an alert.  An Amber Alert.  Sigh. It is not a child abduction, Merline, it's a bad look; don't get it twisted.

Kelly and her literal bridge look get encouragement from Tim but he warns her of overembellishment while saying it makes him smile. While he frowns. Hmm

Tim does tell them all its their best work of the season and I, for one, am just excited that Ashley got this far sans meltdown. Oh man. I spoke too soon. She decides to add a poncho.  In sheer blue. A sheer blue avant garde poncho.

Model fittings! Only Candice is really happy and she interviews that she really thinks Edmond is her competition. Edmond is looking around feeling more and more insecure and...don't mess with your dress, yo!!

Merline thinks her work is well executed and she's all done. Oh Merline. Kelly from the deli eats butter and I think I hear Ashley tear goodness.  It's like parenting. Which is like pushing complicated machinery with a stick from afar. You want them to do so well!

Final model fittings and I kind of like Merline's look on! Candice says Kelly has grown as a designer and that's borderline condescending, 27-yo Candy!

Hair and make up time! The models have to have their hair actually CUT? WTF?? Did you know at Sally Beauty they will make you beautiful?  WHERE MY CHEQUE?? Just drop it at the door, Imma be showering away the rest of my integrity.

I don't know about these looks....Candice's dress looks like...a dress. Nothing stands out at all.

Runway time! Extry judge is Mel B, woot! She's so outspoken, this will be fun. Can I just say? I really like Zac Posen on this show. I was unsure, since I liked Michael Kors back in the day, but he's great. He takes it seriously, he's funny, he gives support and bum kicks. He just needs to keep his fingers outta the models bras, yo

I love Merline's look!

Next is Edmond's sexbomb dress, really like

I don't know about Ashley's capey plus see through pants

Candice's dress looks...typical.  I don't get avant garde at ALL

The walking bridge looks even weirder than I thought and the model's hand placement is worrisome.

The judges LOVED the show; this is a tough challenge.  So close to the end and everyone doing good looking work.

Edmond explains about his Xs and breeze: Heidi LOVES it. Mel B is ready to fight her for it,  I'd hand it over,  Heidi. Mel B will cut a bitch. Zac loves it but Nina ehhhh

Kelly's look is universally loved. I kind of do like it the more I look at it. Just don't know if it's wearable?  But I guess avant garde doesn't need to be wearable.

Merline's delicious burgundy dress is called derivative, but they liked it. You know. Somewhat. Nina thinks it's too safe.

Ashley's weird look has a lot of drama but the 3D doesn't look together. It does show off nipples and the cape is apparently magic. She doesn't cry!! Yay!!

Candice's Queensboro bridge dress is called stunning and lingerie-ish and Spanish motif and blah blah boring typical dress blah blah. That last part may have just been me. Mel B loves it. Nuff said. Enabler

Model groping time! Blah blah blah they really did not like Ashley's but even as they didn't really like everything,  they didn't hate anything, so yay!

Judging! Kelly wins and yay! She gets the 3D printer and her second win in a row. And with only 5 or 6 people left. That's a big deal. Mel B wants to wear Candice's dress to an event! Wow. Goodonya Candice, that's a big deal.

Ashley and Merline are both in the bottom,  but they actually liked both looks; that's why it's hard for the judges. Only good designers left, which is as it should be. They send Merline home and that would have also been my call. Good luck, Merly! You're an awesome #hashtagger.

We out! Next show is the really important one, we get to see who is going to Fashion Week! Woo hoo!


  1. Nothing better than hearing someone walk around in corduroy pants *zwip zwip zwip*

    1. Sah sophisticated! Just don't touch them until they've grounded on something rubber

  2. I liked Merline's gown the best after Kelly's! Man! Whadda they know?!

    1. It was all pretty and drapey and I liked it. I didn't understand Ashley's at all