Thursday, 31 December 2015

BRR American Horror Story:Hotel S5:E4 Devil's Night

So, Richard Ramirez walks into the Hotel Cortez and signs in. Yep, you read that right.  
It's “Devil’s Night" and also Halloween.  "I have a standing reservation” he tells Liz Taylor.  Well, this is getting off to an interesting start.  He says he was hoping Manson could join this year, but alas, he hasn’t died yet.  He ghosts his way into a room with a sleeping couple, bashing in the man’s head.  He tells the woman to swear to satan she won’t scream or he’ll kill her and she does, but then she screams when she sees her husband.  In a tussle she gets away and runs out the door where March is waiting.

Sad Cop and Scarlett talk on the phone and she tells him she doesn’t want to Trick or Treat this year. As he’s hanging up, he sees mass quantities of blood dripping from his ceiling.  Going to investigate, he finds March’s laundress/maid, Miss Evers.  She has had a flashback scene where she is taking her little boy Trick or Treating way back in the day.  She’s only put eye holes in a sheet for him to wear as a ghost and he doesn’t want to wear it.  She runs into a friend that is dressed and has her son dressed in very fancy costumes.  While she rattles on and on about how she didn’t have time to make him a proper costume, a man kidnaps him.  She tells Sad Cop about it and tells him how it was all her fault for not paying attention and she wishes she had made her son a good costume.  She asks him to stay for a while while she cries and expands on her story.  They find the kidnapper and another boy, but only her son’s sheet from Halloween night.  She tells Bad Cop they are “kindred spirits”. 

Alex and her newly found boy Holden enter her home and she puts the barking dog away in a room.  They sit, and he tells her he’s thirsty.  She goes to get him juice, uh mom, I don’t think that’s going to work, and when she gets back to him he’s chowed down on the family’s doggie.  Whoops.  He tells her he doesn’t feel good and that he wants his mommy, meaning Gaga.  She takes him back to the hotel and he gets in his glass coffin that is kept in the old empty pool.  She turns to find Gaga.  Up in her room Gaga tells her that she saved Holden from neglect, like all her children.  A flashback shows Holden walking away with Gaga willingly and quite happily, no one the wiser.  Alex is near collapse by now when Gaga tells her that he’s contracted the ancient blood virus they all have.  She pulls a gun on her and Gaga offers to turn her so that she can spend eternity with her son, she says she will also have to work for her if she accepts said offer.  Tristan whaps her on the head when she threatens to go to the cops.  Gaga says to let her go, and he points out the cops thing.  “She’d never risk losing her one true love” Gaga says, meaning Holden.  “What, you’re banging her too?” asks Tristan.  HAHA

Sad Cop arrives at the bar and finally decides to have a real drink, telling Liz Taylor that his soon to be ex-wife told him he was never an alcoholic, just a control freak.  And then in walks…Aileen Wuornos.  Okay.  She’s being played by the fabulous, gorgeous Lily Rabe.  Looking not so gorgeous with tons of makeup, bad teeth and a really bad wig.  She sits next to Sad Cop and expounds on her killing sprees, pretty much talking around the fact.  She hits on him and he’s drunk enough that he actually takes her up on it.  Liz Taylor tells him “You’re to drunk to see how ugly that woman is.”  He replies he’s too drunk to care.  Up in the room she starts to attack him and he’s like YOU’RE NOT REALLY AILEEN YOU WEIRDO, STOP!  But, he gets away and cuffs her to the sink.  Stumbling out the elevator he passes… The Zodiac Killer!  Liz tells Bad Cop that March has invited all these serial killers for Devil’s Night.  He shows him the guest list and yep, Sad Cop is on it.  -John Lowe is his character’s name, but I like Sad Cop better-  

He arrives and Aileen says “Hey man I wanna apologize for last night. I wasn’t mad at ya.  It’s just cops in general.  Men in general.”  *Mad cackling ensues* There are serial killers all around: Wuornos, Richard Ramirez, John Wayne Gacy, Jeffery Dahmer, The Zodiac Killer and of course March.  March serves them all Absinthe and asks everyone to introduce themselves.  Wuornos and Gacy crack jokes while Dahmer and Zodiac are mainly silent.  They talk serial killing strategy while Sad Cop looks on drunk and drugged on wormwood, wondering how this is happening.  Miss Evers brings out salad and Dahmer says he doesn’t eat salad.  Uh huh.  They bring out as young, drugged out half naked boy for Jefferey and he drills a hole in his melon while the others dance around and party.  After a while, they drink to March while Dahmer gives his prize a drink.  He says he has poured acid in his melon hole.  Oy.  Meanwhile, a suit walks up to Sally in front of the hotel and after flirting for a few, asks her for some dope.  Sad cop is way out of it when dessert is called.  Sally brings in the suit, “flying on an eight ball of China Wall.”  

This gift to the killers will keep her left alone for a whole year it seems. A tool kit with all knives is produced and they all take one stabbing the suit to death in a bonding act. Sad Cop wakes up aside from the group with Sally shaking him.  He says they have to help the suit guy and she assures him he’s drunk and has been hallucinating.  She says to trust her, she’s his protector and she takes him to his room.

Gaga is in all red, telling Alex that the transition will be painful.  So of course Alex has decided to turn to be with her son. They kiss on her bed and Gaga slits her chest, with Alex feeding on her blood.  She tells her she will rise to spend all eternity with her child.  Well, that was… serial killery and kind of icky.  See you next time!


  1. I can't believe I'm not watching this with my kids.

    1. What's wrong with your priorities, Charlie?

    2. What's wrong with your priorities, Charlie?

    3. Uh oh, think Reno has an extra head. That's this show, right?