Can you believe the Oscars are here already? Having said that, this awards season seems to have gone on foreverrrrr. They have all been pretty lacklustre, no drunken shenanigans, fist fights or name calling! Apart from Leo's hilarious Gaga reaction at the Golden Globes, of course.
Speaking of Leo, it's gotta be his year right? He has won them all so far, and something would have to be seriously amiss if he doesn't win. So let's start with the biggies.
Bryan Cranston - Trumbo
Matt Damon, The Martian
Leonardo DiCaprio - The Revenant
Michael Fassbender - Steve Jobs
Eddie Redmayne - The Danish Girl
So Leo for sure, but I am not squandering an opportunity for a Fassypants gif.
Cate Blanchett - Carol
Brie Larson - Room
Jennifer Lawrence - Joy
Charlotte Rampling - 45 Years
Saoirse Ronan - Brooklyn
Based on all the previous awards it's gotta be the always tasty Brie Larson. J.K. Simmons is presenting this one, and I'd start practicing Saoirse now, if I were him.
Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale - The Big Short
Tom Hardy - The Revenant
Mark Ruffalo - Spotlight
Mark Rylance - Bridge of Spies
Sylvester Stallone - Creed
Going out on a limb here, never could resist those Hardy boy lips. Plus Sylvester Stallone? Pffft.
Best Supporting Actress
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Hateful Eight
Rooney Mara - Carol
Rachel McAdams - Spotlight
Alicia Vikander - The Danish Girl
Kate Winslet - Steve Jobs
I will be so pissed if Kate Winslet wins this over Alicia Vikander, who should have been nommed twice by all accounts. Honestly, I am so over Leo and Kate being BFFs.
The Big Short
Bridge of Spies
Mad Max: Fury Road
I don't think you could get much more cinematic and bang for your buck, than Mad Max: Fury Road. Plus - Aussie as.
Adam McKay - The Big Short
George Miller - Mad Max: Fury Road
Alejandro G.Iñarritu - The Revenant
Lenny Abrahamson - Room
Tom McCarthy - Spotlight
My heart says George Miller, but my head says it will be Alejandro again. I mean he did get a great performance out of Leo and that bear.
There is of course a billionty other categories, including Best Song featuring She Who Must Not Be Named twice in a single post. The worst part is it's between her, Sam Smith, The Weeknd, and two others they couldn't even be bothered inviting. If I have to choose out of those three? I'll choose The Weeknd, only because Ana Steele's merkin was robbed of a supporting nomination for 50 Shades. And it's also the year's creepiest music video.
Our host is the hilarious Chris Rock, who has jokes just writing themselves about the #Oscarssowhite controversy. I think of him as Marty from Madagascar, whenever I hear his voice, he should be great!
There is also eleventy thousand presenters including Sacha Baron Cohen (in Grimsby mode I hope), Henry Cavill (who has lost all his Tudors hawt, sorry to say), Jennifer Garner (best shade thrower in the game, see Vanity Fair), Chris Evans (because you have to have at least one Chris in attendance, award show rules), and Daisy Ridley (because she's goddamn REY, okay?).
We will also be treated to a special top secret performance from Mr Dave Grohl, which is something to be excited about. I'm sure they'll throw him on about the three hour mark, to drag us through that painful final hour.
We will see you here Sunday for the Red Carpet, and then the big show right after!